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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Many of the products we buy nowadays break or wear out very quickly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for manufacturers and the public?

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It is often said that
items
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 that are produced today are easily broken.
This
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 essay examines both positive and negative consequences brought to producers and
consumers
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 from their financial, emotional and environmental perspectives. The primary advantage for the public is the reduced price of products.
For instance
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, in Japan where 100 yen shops are prevalent, people are able to purchase more
items
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 at lower costs from utensils to fashions.
Furthermore
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, they can try various
items
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 of different designs and effects with more ease without having many financial concerns. As their incentives for shopping rise, manufacturers can boost their profits, which promotes them to take more active marketing strategies including inventing more new
items
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 and increasing their advertisement.
In contrast
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, there are drawbacks to be highlighted, resulting from
such
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 modern trends. In fact, the frustration among
consumers
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 grows dramatically when they realize that the
items
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 are not durable enough to facilitate their daily lives.
Moreover
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, they have to replace them with another one, which increases their spending.
In addition
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, there is an escalating concern for environmental damage with more waste being created by
consumers
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 buying more fragile merchandise made of plastic and nylon. These lead to a rising sense of distrust of the public users toward the companies.
Consequently
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, the industries will have detrimental impacts as they need to deal with a number of their complaints, which makes it hard for them to manage and expand their business. In conclusion, it is beneficial that
consumers
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 are more affordable to the breakable products in the recent markets and their increasing habit of shopping for them will make the business more lucrative for the companies.
However
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, it leads to unfortunate outcomes with their increasing expenditure and serious effects on nature, which makes them more suspicious of the manufacturers.

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style
Attempt to infuse more variety in your sentence structures to further enrich your argumentation.
content
Be careful of slight inaccuracies and generalizations, as specifics can help strengthen your arguments.
structure
Continue refining your paragraph transitions for an even smoother flow of ideas.
content
Effective usage of specific examples to support your arguments, enhancing the credibility of your positions.
structure
Good job maintaining a clear structure throughout the essay, making your arguments easy to follow.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, giving the essay a good sense of completeness.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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