The number of people who are overweight or obese is far higher than in previous generations. What are the reasons for this, and how can the problem be tackled?
Recently, some health problems
occur
more often among the citizens. One of these problems, Wrong verb form
have occurred
that is
being highlighted to be rising significantly more than ever, is overweight, or even obesity. This
phenomenon happens for some reason and concrete measures need to be taken.
To begin
with, the rapid growth in the number of overweight and obese happens for a reason. One of the key factors is coming from people’s lifestyles, including eating and exercising. In terms of food
consumption, the rise of fast food
, junk food
, and soda contributes to most of the cases. It is because these kind
of Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
food
and beverages contains high
level of fat and sugar which Add an article
a high
lead
to obesity. Meanwhile, a lot of people do not have time to go to the gym as they spend more than half of their day Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
to work
and Change the verb form
working
commute
.
Regarding Wrong verb form
commuting
this
issues
, some efforts need to be taken by both the governments and individuals. Fix the agreement mistake
issue
Firstly
, it is essential for the governments to make a limitation in fat and sugar ingredients for food
companies and restaurant chains. For example
, it is mandatory for companies that produce cola to lower its sugar amount. In terms of individuals, it is crucial to have a healthy lifestyle. For example
, people can start to take public transportation and walk to their workplaces. Thus
, they can burn their calories without providing a certain schedule to exercise.
In summary, the significant rise in the number of overweight and obese patient
is caused mainly by Fix the agreement mistake
patients
human
lifestyle. Correct article usage
the human
This
way of life includes their worse eating habit and poor exercise. In order to tackle that, government
need to take action by regulating Add an article
the government
food
companies. For individual
, it is essential to improve their style of living.Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
Submitted by serlyayus on
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Task Achievement
Continue to provide clear and relevant examples to support your main points as you did effectively throughout your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain the logical structure of your arguments. Starting with issues, followed by reasons, and concluding with solutions provides a coherent flow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Keep including clear introductions and conclusions. They effectively frame your essay and help readers understand the main focus and takeaway.
Task Achievement
Effective use of examples to support main points, such as citing the impact of fast food and sugary drinks on obesity, and suggesting practical solutions like government regulations and individual lifestyle changes.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintaining a clear, logical flow of ideas throughout the essay, making it easy for readers to follow your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Successfully framing the essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively orienting the reader to the topic and summarizing the key points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.