some children spend hours everday on their smartphones why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #everday #smartphones #case #development

With advancements in technology and the increased availability of mobile phones, some youngsters waste a lot of their

time

watching screens, which is not a healthy trend.There are numerous reasons for negative inclination. First of all, the increased accessibility is the reason for excess use.

This

has accompanied the revolutionary change brought in

twenty-first

Change the article

the twenty-first

show examples

century in the digital world by the technical giants.These cell phones are accessible to everyone at a very cheap price.

Also

, these devices provide a variety of features like the internet, video games, app store where all apps are available free of cost,

thus

luring everyone to buy a good smartphone.People now have given it to children as well.In some areas of major cities, every child in a house above 12 years owns a mobile phone.

Secondly

, the parents have now become very busy with both the father and mother working to fulfil the financial requirements.They are unable to pay more attention to their kids and find it convenient to keep them engaged through gadgetry.

Thirdly

, fewer outdoor playgrounds and sports facilities have

also

contributed to the increased use of mobile apps.

In addition

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

smartphones offer videos and content for all ages to keep them involved.

This

is not a good development in general.It causes extra screen

time

which may affect vision.

For instance

, my nephew after spending a lot of

time

on video games, has now become dependent on the

galsses

Correct your spelling

glasses

for seeing at the age of just ten years.

Moreover

, it prevents the development of a family bond, with everyone at home being busy with online activities.

Furthermore

, there may be a tendency for violent behaviour in a child after watching the extreme content.

In addition

, boys and girls who fiddle away their

time

on various gadgets, become housebound and non-social with less actual friends and more virtual friends.

Also

, the misuse of technology has forced the youth to adopt a sedentary lifestyle and avoid playing outdoor games

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

may lead to numerous health problems like obesity, hypertension and diabetes. In a nutshell, children are spending their precious

time

on smartphones which is having disastrous consequences on society at large.

Submitted by alishah2294 on Fri Mar 29 2024

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General

Continue to expand on specific examples and real-life situations to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more relatable and impactful.

Coherence Cohesion

Try to include a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to further enhance the complexity and fluency of your writing.

Task Achievement

It may be beneficial to introduce counterarguments or differing perspectives to provide a more balanced discussion before concluding with your own viewpoint.

Introduction

Exceptional use of an introductory paragraph that clearly sets the tone and topic of the essay.

Structure

Your organizational structure, with clear and logically divided paragraphs, effectively aids in the essay's coherence and cohesion.

Content

You have provided a comprehensive response to the task, addressing all parts of the question with clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant examples.

Conclusion

You've successfully concluded your essay, reinforcing your initial stance and summarizing the key points discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

349 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some children spend hours everday on their smartphones why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Topic: When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of people who ate 5 portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008. You should write at least 150 words.