In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To wht extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The number of the general public suffering from health issues is increasing in several countries because of the consumption of
an excessive amounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
excessive amounts
an excessive amount
show examples
of fast
food
. It is argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
a high
tax
should be imposed on these types of foods by the government. I completely agree with
this
viewpoint because imposing higher
taxes
will increase the expense of these
food
items and discourage
people
from
buying
Correct pronoun usage
buying them
show examples
. Implementing higher
taxes
on fast
food
will lead to an increase in the cost of fast
food
because if the companies have to pay a significant
amount
of
tax
in the fast
food
business
the price of these foods will continue to rise. The continual rise in the cost of fast
food
will result in less
amount
of buying fat
food
by the public and if
people
consume less
amount
of fast
food
they will not suffer from diseases caused by fast
food
.
For example
, in the UK, imposing a high
tax
has reduced the
amount
of fast
food
by the general
people
which led to an improvement in public health.
In addition
, implementing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
taxes
on fast
food
will decrease the proportion of
people
taking the fast
food
business
as a profession.
This
is because if
people
have to pay a lot of
tax
in
this
business
they definitely will not be encouraged to run a fast
food
business
.
For example
, running a fast
food
business
in India is very expensive because of high
taxes
and a good number of fast
food
shops
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
been closed recently.
Therefore
, increasement of
taxes
can help to reduce the profit of fast
food
shops and
people
might change their professions.
To conclude
, depending upon fast
food
as a source of meals can be effectively controlled by the government if high
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
can be imposed. It will reduce the consumption
as well as
opening the new outlet of fast
food
shops.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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Your use of specific examples, such as those from the UK and India, significantly strengthens your argument by providing clear support for your main points.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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