IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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As globalisation develops, countries experience an increasing trend towards identical cultures, as individuals have greater access to purchasing identical goods and services across diverse regions globally.
While
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this
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 phenomenon has some positive aspects, I believe it gives rise to significant challenges that must be carefully addressed. On the positive side, a similar culture benefits many people since they can buy those
products
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 in their own
country
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 without travelling far and spending much money.
In addition
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, taxes on imported
products
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 can add to the
country
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's revenue.
However
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,
this
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 trend can
also
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 present significant challenges that must not be overlooked. One of the primary concerns is that there will be intense competition with local
products
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.
For instance
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, Starbucks is known as a popular coffee brand worldwide.
Although
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 many countries produce local coffee, nowadays, most people assume that Starbucks has the highest quality compared to others.
Therefore
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, domestic coffee is becoming less popular.
Furthermore
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, the high intensity of imported goods results in dependence on other countries and disrupting domestic industry. It is not uncommon for many imported companies to come to a
country
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, affecting local businesses
such
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 as increasing unemployment
due to
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 decreased production levels. If
this
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 happens for a long time, the
country
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's economy can be threatened. In conclusion,
while
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 imported
products
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 have benefits for individuals and a
country
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
also
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 show important risks. I believe
this
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 trend will likely cause more harm than good because of its potential negative impacts on local
products
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 and industries.
Moreover
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, the unemployment figures may negatively influence the
country
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.

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task achievement
In addressing the task, ensure to explore both sides of the argument equally to provide a balanced viewpoint.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider range of examples to support your points, adding depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Transition smoothly between ideas using a variety of linking words to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use a clear thesis statement in your introduction to outline the main argument of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You successfully identify and discuss significant challenges and potential solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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