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Writing Samples
Band 9

Some people think that the amount of money spent on library is a waste as a new technologies are developing and replacing library functions. Do you agree or disagree?

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In today's modern
world
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, many countries incur a huge amount of expenses to maintain their
libraries
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. Whilst certain individuals claim that splurging money on
libraries
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 is a waste of resources, others contend the notion that new emerging technologies are capable of being a plausible substitute for
libraries
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. It is my notion that
although
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 advancements in technology can furnish readers with the digitalized version of
books
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, it is the environment and preservation of certain ancient
books
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 that cannot be replicated by technology. First and foremost, as we live on the edge of technology, people should be more reluctant to head towards digitalized and more environmentally-friendly options when it comes to reading
books
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 in
libraries
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. Now that many breakthrough inventions accomplished in
this
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 era, readers can now have access to the rarest readings and
books
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 in the
world
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 through numerous websites and online
libraries
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. Countries and universities that are spending millions of dollars each year to maintain
libraries
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 can basically switch to digitalized solutions,
therefore
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, decreasing the operation expenses and diverting the resulting funds towards other shortcomings of society and students.
For example
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, universities all across the
world
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 now closing their
libraries
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 and establishing centralized information management servers where readers can freely benefit from the resources available from the comfort of home.
On the contrary
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 side,
libraries
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 have always been a cultural centre for many societies, encompassing historical information and artefacts that are worth beyond the monetary valuation. It should be underlined that restoring or keeping these
libraries
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 in pristine condition is a challenging work which necessitates well-planned coordination and financial resources.
Furthermore
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, the one thing
that is
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 impossible to create in an artificial environment is the ambience in these old
libraries
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 where you can almost travel back in time to feel these time periods through the centuries-old buildings and
books
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 that have been well taken care of. To exemplify
this
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 statement, the Egypt government spends thousands of dollars each year to preserve and maintain the condition of one of the oldest
libraries
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 in the
world
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, known as the Library of Alexandria. In conclusion, despite digitalized
libraries
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 being a more economically advantageous and pragmatic solution compared to physical ones, there are some properties
such
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 as historical importance.

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Language use
To further enhance your essay, consider varying your sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary. While your current use of language is effective, more diverse linguistic choices could enrich your writing even further.
Task Achievement
Although your essay is comprehensive, adding a brief counter-argument paragraph and succinctly refuting it could strengthen your position and showcase a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph is linked seamlessly to the next. While your essay demonstrates good logical flow, transitional phrases can further smooth the progression between ideas, making your argumentation flawless.
Task Achievement
You've done an excellent job in exploring both perspectives of the argument, providing a balanced view before stating your own position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively bookend your essay, reaffirming your stance and summarizing the main points discussed.
Task Achievement
You provided specific examples to support your arguments, such as the mention of the Library of Alexandria, which adds depth and credibility to your stance.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital infrastructure
  • eBooks
  • online journals
  • educational platforms
  • deep reading
  • screen time
  • cultural heritage
  • printed materials
  • balanced approach
  • unique value
  • community centers
  • free access
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