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Writing Samples
Band 7

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
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As it is known,
countries
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 all over the world are starting to familiarize themselves as
products
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 are easily bought and replicated.
Although
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 some might argue that resembling other
countries
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 is useless and could affect a
country
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's development, I believe that
this
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 could be beneficial and could help citizens receive easy access to resources that are hard to find. When a
country
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 develops a
product
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that is
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 wanted by many people, I think it could be a positive outcome so people in other
countries
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 can replicate it for their own citizens to enjoy the
product
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. Other than that, not only does it reduce the burden for people to ship
products
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 from other
countries
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, but it could help other
countries
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 improve new
products
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 and create new developments from the original
product
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.
lastly
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, it could be very beneficial as every
country
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 can grow together and share their
products
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 and resources to create a better future for everyone.
On the other hand
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, it is believed that when
countries
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 replicate one another there could be arguments about who originally created the
product
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.
Not to mention
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, some
countries
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 often take credit and sell the
product
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 in a much smaller range price, which could be a disadvantage for the ones who sell them at a normal price.
Following
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this
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, replicating a
product
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that is
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 already made could reduce a
country
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's creativity and the urge to create new and advanced
products
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.
To conclude
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, there are many reasons why one would argue that being too similar can create arguments and reduce the wanting to develop advanced
products
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.
However
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, I believe that with the right mindset and a positive mind to grow together, we could continue to take the positive ideas and develop something better.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points about the benefits and drawbacks of countries becoming similar due to product availability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear enumeration or linking between ideas to improve logical flow, though the current structure is mostly effective.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, bookending the discussion neatly.
task achievement
You have presented balanced viewpoints and have attempted to analyze both positive and negative aspects of the development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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