We have three important parts of education reading, writing and Math. Some people think every child will benefit from a fourth skill added to the list: computer skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a fact that
education
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has three essential
pillar
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pillars
show examples
consisting
the
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of the
show examples
ability
of
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to
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read , write and mathemathical
skilss
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skills
,
while
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some people
belive
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believe
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that
computer
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the computer
show examples
is a
forth
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fourth
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practical one for
childeren
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children
. I absolutely agree with
this
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forthside vision as I discuss in
following
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the following
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essay. In the
last
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decades
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decades,
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technology
have
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has
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grown
impresively
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enormously
and
education
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is one of the most significant
field
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fields
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which is affected
by
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by it
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. As
every one
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everyone
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knows,
computers
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are the
pitval
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pivotal
initial
device in
developed
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the developed
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world of technology.
Therefor
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Therefore
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there is no way out to add computational skills to fundamental elements of literacy
in addition
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to their traditional ones.
For example
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, in some
especial
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special
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situation
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situations
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like
disease
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the disease
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pandemic which restricted in-person
education
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that actually
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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happened in our
reall
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real
world recently, the only way to teach to the
childeren
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children
is
Change preposition
through online-classes
show examples
online-classes
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online classes
show examples
,
hence
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in the case of lack of ability to use
computers
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, schoolchildren can lose the lessons.
On the other hand
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, in
modern
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the modern
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world, daily activities rely on
computers
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and their
dependences
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dependencies
show examples
are
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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biger
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bigger
show examples
and bolder day by day.
For example
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, without comutational skills and
awarness
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awareness
of
softwares
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software
and practical
application
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applications
show examples
such
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as banking or ticket-booking
ones
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apply
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, you can not manage your daily requirements and
alwayes
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always
have to ask
other
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others
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wich
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which
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can be harmful and untrustable in many cases. On
this
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base,
it is clear that
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this
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experty
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expertly
expert
is the
unsepretable
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unrepeatable
part of basic
education
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and literacy these days.
To conclude
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, because of
bold
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the bold
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and
prominant
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prominent
impact of having sufficient knowledge and practicable
abillity
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ability
to use
computers
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in
education
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and other daily life
tasks
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tasks,
show examples
I completely agree to add
this
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skill to the school educational curriculum.
Submitted by enayatollahi.at on

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Grammar and Spelling
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Sentence Structure
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Vocabulary Expansion
Consider expanding your range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. This includes using more specific terms related to computer technology and education.
Argument Strength
You argued convincingly for the importance of computer skills in education, providing clear and well-structured points throughout your essay.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion were effectively written, framing your argument cohesively.
Use of Examples
You successfully used relevant examples to support your main points, making your arguments more compelling.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital age
  • tech-savvy
  • curriculum
  • digital literacy
  • programming
  • coding
  • disseminated
  • digital divide
  • opportunities
  • neglected
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • navigate
  • manipulate
  • environments
  • excessive focus
  • physical inactivity
  • interpersonal skills
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