We have three important parts of education reading, writing and Math. Some people think every child will benefit from a fourth skill added to the list: computer skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a fact that
education
has three essential
pillar
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pillars
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consisting
the
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of the
show examples
ability
of
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to
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read , write and mathemathical
skilss
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skills
,
while
some people
belive
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believe
show examples
that
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
is a
forth
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fourth
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practical one for
childeren
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children
. I absolutely agree with
this
forthside vision as I discuss in
following
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the following
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essay. In the
last
decades
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decades,
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technology
have
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has
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grown
impresively
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enormously
and
education
is one of the most significant
field
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fields
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which is affected
by
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by it
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. As
every one
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everyone
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knows,
computers
are the
pitval
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pivotal
initial
device in
developed
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the developed
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world of technology.
Therefor
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Therefore
show examples
there is no way out to add computational skills to fundamental elements of literacy
in addition
to their traditional ones.
For example
, in some
especial
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special
show examples
situation
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situations
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like
disease
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the disease
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pandemic which restricted in-person
education
that actually
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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happened in our
reall
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real
world recently, the only way to teach to the
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
is
Change preposition
through online-classes
show examples
online-classes
Correct your spelling
online classes
show examples
,
hence
in the case of lack of ability to use
computers
, schoolchildren can lose the lessons.
On the other hand
, in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
world, daily activities rely on
computers
and their
dependences
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dependencies
show examples
are
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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biger
Change the word
bigger
show examples
and bolder day by day.
For example
, without comutational skills and
awarness
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awareness
of
softwares
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software
and practical
application
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applications
show examples
such
as banking or ticket-booking
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, you can not manage your daily requirements and
alwayes
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always
have to ask
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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wich
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which
show examples
can be harmful and untrustable in many cases. On
this
base,
it is clear that
this
experty
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expertly
expert
is the
unsepretable
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unrepeatable
part of basic
education
and literacy these days.
To conclude
, because of
bold
Correct article usage
the bold
show examples
and
prominant
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prominent
impact of having sufficient knowledge and practicable
abillity
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ability
to use
computers
in
education
and other daily life
tasks
Add a comma
tasks,
show examples
I completely agree to add
this
skill to the school educational curriculum.
Submitted by enayatollahi.at on

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Grammar and Spelling
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Sentence Structure
Try to vary your sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your writing more engaging for the reader.
Vocabulary Expansion
Consider expanding your range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. This includes using more specific terms related to computer technology and education.
Argument Strength
You argued convincingly for the importance of computer skills in education, providing clear and well-structured points throughout your essay.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion were effectively written, framing your argument cohesively.
Use of Examples
You successfully used relevant examples to support your main points, making your arguments more compelling.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital age
  • tech-savvy
  • curriculum
  • digital literacy
  • programming
  • coding
  • disseminated
  • digital divide
  • opportunities
  • neglected
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • navigate
  • manipulate
  • environments
  • excessive focus
  • physical inactivity
  • interpersonal skills
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