Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a controversial discussion going on between notions, as a group of them believe that the ones who have high-class careers
such
as doctors or engineers have to stay in the actual area where they have been born and trained. On the other hand
, others hold the belief that they should have the freedom to choose their working environment. I personally agree with the latter opinion, and I think that each individual has to have a chance to choose their working place.
To begin
with, some individuals think that you have to remain in your own country in order to help your own society, as it may bring a sense of belonging and personal culture and identity. They may believe that leaving your hometown to help other societies is not an acceptable manner and it is crucial to be dedicated to your land. Another reason behind this
statement is due to
the poor economic situation which will lead youngsters to leave the country, as this
will put nations in a terrible situation. Furthermore
, they may insist on keeping professionals where they were born.
On the other hand
, some others argue that each person has to be free to work wherever they want, in order to have a better career path in the future. Some countries are not able to provide the appropriate environment for professional careers to grow, and they would not get the opportunity to meet their needs properly, as a consequence
, doctors have no chance other than leaving their town for their personal growth and the feathers provided by other developed countries. For instance
, in poor countries, the brain drain is significantly growing due to
the lack of support by the government, putting the area in a serious issue. Therefore
, individuals have to get the freedom to follow their dreams and get a chance to be better in their chosen path.
To sum up
, I strongly believe that each human has the right to choose their path to build a better future for themselves, furthermore
, if a society does not provide great chances for professionals, they have to have the freedom to leave that place.Submitted by vaniaa.z.h2005 on
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Task Response
You've done an excellent job at articulating both viewpoints and your own opinion, maintaining relevance throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical and cohesive structure, effectively guiding the reader through your arguments with well-organized paragraphs.
Language
For even stronger essays, consider integrating a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas even more precisely.
Support and Examples
You might want to include more detailed examples to further support your arguments, as this can add depth and a more compelling narrative to your essay.
Task Response
Great job on clearly stating your opinion and elaborating on it throughout the essay, maintaining focus on the task.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the essay's main points and your personal stand, contributing to a coherent argument.
Content Balance
You've nicely balanced the discussion of both viewpoints before presenting your own, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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