The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In economy, society and infrastructure is
modern
world, there are some Add an article
the modern
people
who believe that the most effective method for a nation to have good preparation for the future is to focus on young
generations. In my point of view, Correct article usage
the young
although
young generations play an important role in developing countries
, investing in other factors is also
significant.
To begin
with, there are several reasons why government should invest in young people
. First of all, it is trie
that young Correct your spelling
true
people
are living in one of the most modern periods in human civilization. Therefore
, they can access other cultures and traditions in other countries
, creating opportunities for them to widen their knowledge and learn new languages. I think,
Remove the comma
apply
this
is a vital element that can contribute their countries
to the
better future. Correct article usage
a
For example
, lots of students go to study abroad, after
few years later when they come back to their nation, they tend to help develop their Correct word choice
and after
countries
in some fields. Secondly
, the younger generations contribute a huge part of the country’s workforce.
On the other hand
, investing in other factors such
asCorrect article usage
the
also
important. In addition
, investing unemployment
by introducing more jobs for those who have difficulty in their lives which can help their Change preposition
in unemployment
countries
become better.
To sum up
, young people
are living in the modern world so they can possess a lot of opportunities and potential for the development and innovation of the countries
. Although
,
children are important for the future of the country, other factors can play important roles.Remove the comma
apply
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Specific Examples
Try providing more specific examples to support your points. While you’ve mentioned students studying abroad and contributing to their home countries, further elaboration or additional examples could strengthen your argument.
Grammar
Review your essay for minor grammatical inaccuracies that can slightly disturb the flow but do not significantly hinder understanding. Attention to detail can elevate your overall performance.
Vocabulary & Sentence Structure
Consider using varied sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the complexity and fluency of your writing.
Introduction
Your introduction sets a clear stance on the topic, effectively outlining the scope of the essay. This is pivotal for task achievement.
Structure & Coherence
The logical structuring of paragraphs facilitates a coherent flow of ideas, leading the reader through your argument effortlessly.
Balanced Argument
You've addressed both sides of the argument, appreciating the importance of investing in young people while also recognizing the value of broader societal investments, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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