IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The visuals give information about the number of spacecraft launched by various national governments between 1957 and 2007 and the purpose of each mission.

#visuals #information #spacecraft #governments #purpose #mission
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The visuals give a thorough look at spacecraft launches by different countries over a 50-year period and explain the reasons behind each mission. As shown in the pie chart, most spacecraft launches in
this
Linking Words
 time frame were carried out by the Soviet Union/Russia,
totaling
Change the spelling
totalling
show examples
 3484 launches, with the USA coming in second with 1760 launches. China, Canada, India, and Japan have
also
Linking Words
 made significant contributions, with 111 launches, 28 launches, 48 launches, and 114 launches, respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a substantial number of 539 launches were credited to commercial entities. The chart shows the reasons why these spacecraft were sent into space. Roughly 25% of launches were focused on communications, making it the most prevalent objective. Approximately 20% of launches were for surveillance satellites, with around 10% dedicated to research
missions
Use synonyms
. Significantly, only a small fraction of space launches were manned
missions
Use synonyms
, indicating the considerable resources dedicated to human space exploration at that time. Just over 5% of launches were for weather observation
missions
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 planetary exploration
missions
Use synonyms
 made up the rest of the total. In general, the visuals showcase the wide variety of
missions
Use synonyms
 carried out by both national governments and commercial entities, including communications, surveillance, scientific research, and exploration.
Submitted by emanbh422 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Proficiency
Consider using a wider range of complex sentence structures and lexical phrases to increase linguistic variation.
Task Achievement
Adding a brief evaluation or personal reflection in the conclusion can provide a more comprehensive analysis and a stronger closing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your paragraphs clearly, ensuring each one focuses on a specific aspect of the data presented. This structure was mostly maintained, but even clearer divisions could enhance readability.
Task Achievement
You've done an excellent job in detailing the specifics of the spacecraft launches, providing clear and comprehensive ideas throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical progression from the introduction, through the main body, to the conclusion is evident, which aids the reader's understanding.
Task Achievement
Your use of specific data from the charts to support your points is commendable, significantly enhancing the essay's credibility.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: