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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.

The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.
#show #survey #adult #education #first #reason #adults #study #people #costs #report #university #lecturer #information
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The given charts illustrate the survey findings regarding
adult
education
. The bar chart shows the motivation behind
adult
 learning
while
 the pie chart shows the perspective on the distribution of
adult
education
costs
.
Overall
, it can be seen that interest in
subject
Correct article usage
a subject
show examples
 and to gain qualifications are the most common
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 why
people
 decide to
study
while
 to meet
people
 is the least one.
Besides
, most
people
 believe that
individuals
 should purchase the majority of
costs
Correct article usage
the costs
show examples
 of each course for
adult
education
.
To begin
 with, there are 40
people
 who choose to
study
 because of
favoured
Correct word choice
a favourite
show examples
 subject, following that the number of
people
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 to gain qualifications less than that of 2
individuals
.
Next,
22
people
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
show examples
 to
study
 because they think it is helpful for
current
Correct pronoun usage
their current
show examples
 job. The number of
people
want
Correct pronoun usage
who want
show examples
 to
study
 to improve
prospect
Add an article
the prospect
show examples
 of promotion is as many as the number of
individuals
 studying because they enjoy learning/studying. 12
people
 take part in
study
Add an article
a study
the study
show examples
 to able to change their job and less than 10
peole
Correct your spelling
people
study
Change to a plural noun
studies
show examples
 to meet
people
. Moving on to the other categories,
individuals
 hold the lion's share in the
costs
 of each course with 40%.
Secondly
, employer accounts for 35%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the distribution of
adult
education
costs
.
Lastly
, the percentage of
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
' shared
costs
 of each cost is 25%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words adult, education, costs, people, study, individuals with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
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