IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow vegetarian diets. Do the advantages of this outweighs the disadvantages.

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The vegetarian diet has become prominent in the majority of cities and people take action to follow it because it is beneficial for the human body
also
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 it is an efficient aid to brain functioning.In the following essay, I will get my point
further
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.
To begin
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 with, it seems very helpful to observe the vegetarian diet, because when we consume fruits or vegetables they launch to produce acid which causes an increase in mood, strength
as well as
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 consolidation of memory during the day.
Furthermore
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, research has been done by British scientist Robert Luibster who mentioned that
,
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 cooking up a dish covered with veggies can enhance the digestive system and people are able to avoid insomnia because of the nutrition produced during our sleep which causes our brain to produce a mixture.
On the other hand
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, some of us prefer food
instead
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 of fruits, but food consists of protein as fruits do,
such
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 as increasing metabolism and satisfaction of fullness.Many studies show that meat can cover hunger and
also
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 promote fullness to the body, especially red meat, because, it has necessary nutrients, and is popular in China .it gives the body vitamin B and iron.In my point of view, red meat is much more harmful compared to white one and chicken is added on these lines too. In conclusion, it is good to consume foodstuff because everyone has got their own choices when it comes to dishes but veggies are highly preferred, because, it has any sort of nutrition that people can seek .

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Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and evidences to support your arguments. This will enhance the clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.
Task Achievement
Be cautious with word choice and phrasing to ensure your arguments are presented clearly and logically. For example, clarify what you mean by 'food instead of fruits' to avoid confusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing a clearer structure within paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea followed by supporting details. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
Introduction & Conclusion
You introduced the topic effectively and provided a clear stance on the issue. Your conclusion also effectively summarises your argument.
Supported Main Points
You have a promising start in discussing the benefits of a vegetarian diet and comparing it with meat consumption. Your effort to balance both sides of the argument is commendable.
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