In many parts of the world, children and adolescents are spending more and more time indoors. What do you think is the cause of this problem? What best measures can be taken for it

#parts #world #children #adolescents #time #indoors #measures

In today’s digital age, many young people regularly spend more of their lives indoors.

This

essay will first suggest that the biggest problem caused by

this

phenomenon is the current state of technology and

then

present advice to limit the overuse of electronic

devices

. the most feasible solution. The foremost problem caused by the development of the technological age is electronic

devices

with addictive

games

. millions of people around the world spend too much

time

playing

games

when they are at

home

and most of those

games

take a lot of

time

to complete. The consequence is that it affects each person's lifestyle, making them feel lazier and want to stay

home

and play

games

instead

of going out with

some

Change the word

their

show examples

friends.

For example

, Today's

games

have online features that allow many people to play together.

In an

Change preposition

show examples

online

Capitalize word

Online

show examples

game,

this

has increased the number of

children

or teenagers who want to stay at

home

and play

games

with friends but do not want to go out and play with them. It's hard to deny that parental advice and action is the best solution currently. To explain, Parents should advise or manage their

children

to consider using electronic

devices

for entertainment, limit gaming to no more than three hours a day and convince them

with

Change preposition

show examples

some outdoor

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

For instance

, Parents should regularly spend

time

with their

children

or take them on picnics or participate in other outdoor activities with them, especially

team building

Add a hyphen

team-building

show examples

games

that help increase family relationships and stay away from

children

's electronic

devices

. In conclusion, spending too much

time

home

can have many negative effects on

children

or adolescents.

However

, if parents take timely and effective measures, the harmful effects of electronic

devices

will be completely eliminated.

Submitted by [email protected] on Sun Mar 31 2024

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Content

Your essay effectively identifies a major contemporary issue and offers practical solutions.

Support

You provided clear, relevant examples to support your points, which strengthened your arguments.

Structure

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many parts of the world, children and adolescents are spending more and more time indoors. What do you think is the cause of this problem? What best measures can be taken for it

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

Write a letter to your friend who lives in another country and in your letter, - invite him or her to a public event in your country - describe the public event - explain other plans you have for your friend when he or she visits.

You have recently moved to a different house, and you want to give the news to an English-speaking friend who lives in another country. Write a letter to this English-speaking friend. In your letter, explain why you have moved describe the new house invite your friend to come and visit

some people believe that teachers should be friendly and other people think that teacher should be very bad. do you agree or disagree

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Write a letter to your friend who lives in another country and in your letter,  - invite him or her to a public event in your country   - describe the public event   - explain other plans you have for your friend when he or she visits.