Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places?

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Nowadays, the tourism industry is changing and the number of tourists, who are passionate about exotic destinations
such
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as the Shara desert or the Atlantic, is increasing. The forthcoming essay shall discuss the benefits and drawbacks of
this
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phenomenon. On the one hand, there are several advantages to increasing the number of
tourisms
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tourists
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.
Firstly
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, the income of local people in remote areas will be increased
due to
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the number of visitors. The individuals who travel to unique destinations would pay for their food and residence.
Secondly
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, the photos which are taken by foreigners in places with harsh conditions might draw some global attention to these countries and may solve some of their problems.
Finally
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, the governments and NGOs might fundraise some budget in order to ease their living conditions and advert to bring more travellers.
On the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks to travelling to these destinations, particularly for travellers. The unique areas usually have intolerable climates,
for instance
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, the temperature in the Sahar desert is too high and there is a risk of dehydration.
In contrast
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, the Antarctic is too freezing,
also
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it is so dangerous to get there because of huge glaciers. Some tourists cannot tolerate difficult situations and they panic or even have a heart attack. In conclusion, visiting exotic places is so memorable for people who have
adventurous
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an adventurous
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spirit and there are some economic and cultural benefits for local people.
However
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, travelling to remote areas has its risks.
Submitted by Negar_seddigh on

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Detail Enhancement
To improve task achievement, consider including more specific examples and data to support your arguments. This could involve citing statistics, historical facts, or case studies related to the destinations and their impact on both tourists and locals.
Flow Improvement
For greater coherence, try to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. Phrases such as 'On another note,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Contrastingly,' can help guide the reader through your argument more fluidly.
Expressive Variety
In terms of cohesion, avoid redundancy in argumentation. Strive for concise and varied expressions throughout your text to keep the reader engaged.
Balance Emphasis
To sharpen your task achievement score, ensure that each point directly addresses both the benefits and disadvantages in a balanced way, ideally dedicating a similar amount of text to each perspective.
Structural Strength
Effective introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the key points of your argument.
Linguistic Range
Good range of vocabulary and sentence structures that engages the reader well.
Comprehensive Analysis
You have successfully identified significant benefits and disadvantages, presenting a well-rounded view on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adventure
  • unique experiences
  • ecosystems
  • conservation efforts
  • economic benefits
  • environmental degradation
  • habitat destruction
  • safety risks
  • extreme weather conditions
  • navigation
  • high price tag
  • specialized equipment
  • influx
  • strain on local resources
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