IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people believe that it is better to live in a city, while others believe that it is better to live in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #city #countryside
It is often argued that it is finer to reside in urban areas.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 others opine that living in villages is better.
This
 essay will discuss both views as far as I am
Concerned
Fix capitalization
concerned
show examples
 I
in
Add a missing verb
am in
show examples
 favour of
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 notion. To commence with, living in
towin
Correct your spelling
town
 is beneficial.To explain, it offers greater access to amenities, career opportunities, and cultural activities. Cities are often hubs of economic activity, providing a wide range of job options and higher earning potential.
Additionally
, urban dwellers can enjoy a plethora of entertainment choices, from theatres and museums to restaurants and shopping centres. Shifting toward
final
Add an article
the final
show examples
 view, why they should stay in
outpost
Correct article usage
the outpost
show examples
.To elaborate, rural living
emphasize
Change the verb form
emphasizes
show examples
 the tranquillity and connection to nature that the countryside provides.It provides a peaceful and close-to-nature existence They contend that life in the countryside is less stressful, offering cleaner air, less noise pollution, and a slower pace of life.
Moreover
, the close-knit communities in rural areas foster a sense of belonging and interpersonal relationships that can be harder to find in bustling cities. In conclusion,
although
 cities have very good things
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I believe living in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 has
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 own positive
atmospehere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
.
Submitted by nandnilekhi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay introduction distinctly outlines your viewpoint. It was good but could be clearer.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This could enhance your essay by making your arguments more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to avoid repetition and keep the reader engaged.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to check for minor spelling or grammatical errors to polish your essay further.
Task Achievement
You discussed both views before stating your own opinion, maintaining a good balance throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!