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Band 3.5

Some people believe that it is better to live in a city, while others believe that it is better to live in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #city #countryside
It is often argued that it is finer to reside in urban areas.
However
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However,
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 others opine that living in villages is better.
This
 essay will discuss both views as far as I am
Concerned
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concerned
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 I
in
Add a missing verb
am in
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 favour of
former
Correct article usage
the former
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 notion. To commence with, living in
towin
Correct your spelling
town
 is beneficial.To explain, it offers greater access to amenities, career opportunities, and cultural activities. Cities are often hubs of economic activity, providing a wide range of job options and higher earning potential.
Additionally
, urban dwellers can enjoy a plethora of entertainment choices, from theatres and museums to restaurants and shopping centres. Shifting toward
final
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the final
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 view, why they should stay in
outpost
Correct article usage
the outpost
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.To elaborate, rural living
emphasize
Change the verb form
emphasizes
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 the tranquillity and connection to nature that the countryside provides.It provides a peaceful and close-to-nature existence They contend that life in the countryside is less stressful, offering cleaner air, less noise pollution, and a slower pace of life.
Moreover
, the close-knit communities in rural areas foster a sense of belonging and interpersonal relationships that can be harder to find in bustling cities. In conclusion,
although
 cities have very good things
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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I believe living in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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 has
it's
Replace the word
its
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 own positive
atmospehere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
.
Submitted by nandnilekhi on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay introduction distinctly outlines your viewpoint. It was good but could be clearer.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This could enhance your essay by making your arguments more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to avoid repetition and keep the reader engaged.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to check for minor spelling or grammatical errors to polish your essay further.
Task Achievement
You discussed both views before stating your own opinion, maintaining a good balance throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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