Grades encourage students to work harder at school. Do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's society, we can see that all the schools have remarkably noticed their
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in order to encourage
the
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
knowledge and to gain a good score.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement could be pushing the pupils to study hard and compete with the others to fight over who is the most
cleaver
Correct your spelling
clever

The word cleaver doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
at that time. In my personal point of view, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay, I am going to discuss the validity of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement and give my own reasons for it. One of the main reasons has to do with their ability to get the best opportunities in the next stage of their education. As we know, nowadays, some institutions require
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by sorting
Change preposition
to sort

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their GPA levels.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who have
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
good enough scores could have many opportunities to try in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
higher schools with valuable quality.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some of the
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

experience
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
financial difficulties
to pay
Change preposition
in paying

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their tuition fees. Gaining
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
tremendous mark can be able to help the
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to reach the scholarships and get free access
of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
study.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, getting the free
paid
Replace the word
pay

The word paid doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
of education trains the
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to chase with their friends and to compete with each other to achieve higher marks because normally, the scholarship institutional systems only accept several people by selecting from the best mark.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, from the above reasons, we can conclude that having a good mark in the class could have more advantages and opportunities for them.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to that, it can
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

secure their financial ability in a great way.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of sentence structures to make your writing more sophisticated.
task achievement
Including more specific examples and evidence could strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes; these can detract from the clarity of your essay.
task achievement
Consider exploring a counterargument to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively bookend your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical flow, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You've clearly articulated your viewpoint and supported it with relevant reasons.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: