IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Modern communications mean that it’s no longer necessary to write letters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Communication
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 is an essential part of today's world. We cannot imagine living alone. We have to communicate with others to survive and to complete multiple tasks. So
communication
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 has always been important in human history.
While
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 analyzing different
sources
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 of knowledge, we can see that there are more reliable
sources
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 available as compared to the past. I think, as the world has changed the way of
communication
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also
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 changed. In the
last
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 20 years, there have been limited options for
communication
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.
For example
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, if you were living in a place and
want
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wanted
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 to be in touch with your family members or friends,
then
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 writing a
letter
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 was the only available option and there were no other
sources
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 to contact them.
Letter
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 writing was not only necessary to remain informed but
also
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 a way of
communication
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 to exchange views.
Although
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, in recent times official
letter
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 writing still exists in many government departments it takes not so long
that
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before
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letter
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 writing is replaced by e-mail and other latest
origin
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origins
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. And the penetration of technology has completely changed the situation and approach of thinking. Now we can communicate with anyone else in no time if we have even a simple cell phone or contacted with internet. Because the internet is the main source of revolutionary change in our lives it has a great impact on our form of thinking. I am a strong believer in thinking that we have to welcome
this
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 connection with
warm
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a warm
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 heart because it is the need of the world. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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 modern communications
sources
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 are absolutely taking over and
letter
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 writing may a remembered as a unique i

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Introduction Improvement
Implement a more structured introduction that directly addresses the topic. Explicitly stating your position in the introduction will provide a clear roadmap for your argument.
Paragraph Structure
Consider utilizing paragraphs more effectively to organize your thoughts. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
Conclusion Formation
Work on crafting a conclusion that summarises your argument and restates your position. This will make your point of view on the topic more memorable.
Task Relevance
Ensure your writing is directly addressing the task throughout. While you've covered many related topics, more direct references to how modern communications have impacted the necessity of letter writing would enhance your task achievement score.
Tone Consistency
Adopt a slightly more formal tone suitable for essay writing. While your voice is clear, ensuring consistency in formality will improve the overall presentation of your ideas.
Clear Stance
You've provided a clear stance on the issue, making your position known, which is important for task achievement.
Historical Contexts
Your reference to historical contexts and the evolution of communication is a strength. It adds depth to your essay.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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