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Writing Samples
Band 8

More and more serious crimes seem to be committed each year. Some think that the death penalty is the best way to deal with this problem while other people think different measures are more likely to be successful. Discuss both options.

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Security is
one
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 of the basic elements of a human being's life. every year a great amount of catastrophic violations occur and several groups of
people
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 believe that the execution is the most efficient way of handling these issues
whereas
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 others assume alternative actions will have better outcomes.
This
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 essay is going to discuss both of these perspectives.
One
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 of the main factors that each country is measured to be a safe and secure
one
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, is the rate of crime in that region.
Therefore
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, numerous
people
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 consider it hazardous and claim that those criminals have to be hanged or sentenced to death or they will make streets unsafe for residents.
For instance
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,violations that take place in public make the atmosphere heavily unapproved for tourists and even for local
people
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.
Additionally
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, these unsafe conditions lower the credibility and reputation of any country in the world in the blink of an eye and act as a barrier to foreign investment. Given the circumstances, wrongdoing and illegality are blamed by the majority of
people
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 throughout the world and doers should be punished and reformed. In
this
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 regard, many suppose that there are other options for criminals apart from death and placing these
people
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 in specific rehabilitation centres like the
one
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 for addicts will result in better and some of them may be able to return to society.
Moreover
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, eliminating them will leave adverse effects on families and may emerge as revenge in another form of crime so using them in compulsory labor will attain success. In conclusion, self-evidently, crime in society jeopardises safety and security and can omit the comfort of the public.
this
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 essay discussed both ideas including those who propose execution for criminals and those who believe
otherwise
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.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay is well-organized and that each paragraph has a clear central idea.
Task Achievement
Provide specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay and make your points more convincing.
Language Use
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate your language proficiency.
Task Achievement
Your essay discusses both viewpoints effectively and provides a well-rounded analysis of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have maintained a logical flow within your essay, making it easy to follow.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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