In Britain, when someone gets old, they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In countries like Britain, old
people
prefer to go to old age homes
that are run by the government
and these homes
have nurses to take care of the aged persons. I think that the government
must pay for these homes
to provide a safe and secure environment for elderly people
at least to a minimum standard. In this
essay, I have provided the reasons why the government
must run these homes
.
If you consider any developed economy such
as the United Kingdom, an average person pays up to 30% of their income as a tax to the government
. These higher taxes are charged to the citizens to provide a better quality of life. I have seen many old people
who are living on the streets because they do not have any income and the social security paid by the government
is not sufficient to cover their medical expenses and to afford a home. Therefore
, I think these homes
operated by the state provide the necessary support that is
required by older people
and the government
in turn justifies the tax it has collected from a person.
Nowadays, if you notice any family, all members are not fully available to take care of their grandparents. These old ones have to manage themselves all alone until the family members come back from work or school in the evening. The mental health of these old people
is negatively impacted by being lonely and they start suffering from mental illness. I have seen this
happening to my grandmother and the doctors advised us to send her to an old age home because they can be with other people
of their age to share their emotions and to get the required attention. This
significantly helped to improve her health.
As I explained above, we have to consider the fact that the global population is getting older and these kind
of Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
homes
and support systems must be operated by the state to provide an equitable and safe future when we all get older.Submitted by msrinivas7866 on
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coherence-cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to improve overall flow and coherence. For example, use connectives like 'moreover', 'in addition', etc.
task-achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. This can make your essay more convincing and relatable.
task-achievement
Try to elaborate a bit more on the impacts and benefits for the government and family to make the arguments more comprehensive.
coherence-cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes the essay easy to follow.
task-achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well, and you provide clear reasons why the government should fund old age homes.
task-achievement
You include personal experiences which make your argument more persuasive and grounded.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.