IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

With space travel being a reality, the prospect of space tourism is on the horizon. Do you view this as a positive or negative development?

#space #travel #reality #prospect #tourism #horizon #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Space
Use synonyms
 travel has been a reality for decades, and with the advances in technology,
space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
 is believed to be full of potential.
While
Linking Words
 there are both benefits and drawbacks to
space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
, I ultimately believe that it is a positive development. On the one hand, certain negative aspects of
space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
 justify the doubts surrounding it.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it could be exorbitant
due to
Linking Words
 the cost of equipment and preparation involved, limiting its availability to a select group of extremely wealthy people.
Space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
 would,
as a result
Linking Words
, likely become a status symbol to
further
Linking Words
 drive a wedge between the rich and the poor in society.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are possible environmental concerns, as rockets used for
space
Use synonyms
 travel discharge a great amount of
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
. As commercial flights have already been criticized for their impact on the environment, popularizing
space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
 may deteriorate the situation by adding another source of air pollution.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the possible advantages of
space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
 are significant. Economically, it could open up a new industry, creating jobs and stimulating growth.
This
Linking Words
 would be especially beneficial for the manufacturing and engineering sectors, providing a much-needed boost for countries with a competitive edge in said sectors.
Space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
,
furthermore
Linking Words
, is able to offer travelers breathtaking perspectives of the Earth, so they can appreciate the meaning of life on our planet. Many astronauts have recounted their experience of seeing the Earth from
space
Use synonyms
 as a transformative influence in that it helped them see past the wars and struggles on the planet.
Consequently
Linking Words
, ordinary people who embark on
such
Linking Words
 a trip could reach the same conclusion, increasing the
overall
Linking Words
 positivity among mankind. It can be argued from these points that the benefits of
space
Use synonyms
tourism
Use synonyms
 would overshadow its drawbacks, justifying the effort to help it progress. In my opinion, developing
space
Use synonyms
 travel for recreation is largely positive, both economically and educationally. Because of the existing concerns,
however
Linking Words
, it is ultimately essential to weigh both the advantages and disadvantages before making the decision for it.
Submitted by klinh4136 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While you have included relevant examples to support your points, these could be enhanced by including more detailed instances or case studies.
Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on linking ideas more explicitly within and between paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay. Transitions could be used more effectively to demonstrate the relationships between ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space tourism
  • technological advancements
  • economic growth
  • inspiration
  • intercultural exchange
  • global unity
  • carbon footprint
  • commodification
  • exploitation
  • viable
  • luxury
  • innovation
  • sustainable development
  • aerospace industry
  • commercial spaceflight
  • astronaut experience
  • orbital infrastructure
  • ecological impact
  • ethical considerations
  • spacefaring civilization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: