Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in team sports, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Several individuals hold the vision that it is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better to
possess
Verb problem
play
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team sports,
whereas
other human beings consider that a personal type of physical activity is valuable. In
this
essay, I will discuss both points of view and in the end, my individual position will be shown. On the one hand, solo motor activities are that some people believe have significant values.
Obviuosly
Correct your spelling
Obviously
, when a human has to carry responsibilities for itself it is a more efficient way to reach success in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
field like sport. For
instanse
Correct your spelling
instance
, athletes
such
as swimmers are not able to worry about others and there are no common aims with others.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, there may not come up
different
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with different
show examples
positions,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result they can bring off their purposes.
However
, they are by themselves and they will not be
gaven
Correct your spelling
given
any
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
,
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apply
show examples
since solo athletes do not have
an
Change the article
a
show examples
union.
Consequently
,
athletes
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athletes'
athlete's
show examples
excellent achievements are able to decrease.
On the other hand
, team sports may have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numerous
of
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apply
show examples
benefits, owing to the fact that when
sportmen
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
face problems other members can share
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
advises
Replace the word
advice
show examples
and motivate each other.
Nevertheless
, being in the group may delay
releavance
Correct your spelling
relevant
relevance
results,
due to
there
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
lots of opinions that ought to be paid attention
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
In my view, both of them can have their advantages, and at the same time disadvantages. Personal sports are more productive in the
short-term
Correct your spelling
short term
show examples
,
while
team physical activities are more valuable in the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
.
Submitted by sayazhorabek9466 on

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Clarity
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Sentence Variety
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Use of Examples
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Grammar & Spelling
Work on the accuracy of your grammar and spelling to enhance the readability of your essay.
Response to Prompt
You have successfully discussed both views as required by the prompt.
Structure
You have made an effort to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • camaraderie
  • teamwork
  • leadership skills
  • social interactions
  • self-reliance
  • personal discipline
  • cooperative learning
  • peer motivation
  • flexible schedule
  • psychological benefits
  • collective achievements
  • sense of accomplishment
  • personal accountability
  • wellness goals
  • social interaction
  • personal mastery
  • solitary tendencies
What to do next:
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