Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software? Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

More and more people are giving their personal details to those companies in order to
use
the services.
However
, some may opine that
this
is risky. Others state that
this
is beneficial for us. I think
this
is a controversial topic, and I believe that it has more merits than demerits. On one hand, the reason why companies need our
data
is that they can
use
data
analysis on it, and they can find more chances to improve their business. Machine learning models require enormous information to do the processing. It may predict the possible future and is good for making business strategies.
For example
, my previous company Fubon Group which is specialized in using
data
science to do anti-money laundering prevention. They stopped those happening successfully. Big
data
can be used in many fields
such
as marketing, accounting, finance, and so on.
On the other hand
, some companies are not illegal, and they
use
your
data
for fraud.
This
is terrible! Those criminals earned billions of dollars by using these.
For instance
, some gangsters cooperate with the staff who are working in technology cooperation, because
this
is an easy way to get others' personal details.
Furthermore
, they
use
those citizens' phone numbers to make calls and tell them have to transfer their money to designated accounts. The cases of that have increased recently. The law enforcement departments have found so many types of fraud. In a nutshell,
data
analysis is very popular, and people are using it in many things. It is a way to make our lives better.
On the contrary
, wrongdoers
use
it in the wrong ways. It is like a double-edged sword.
Overall
, in my view, it is good to do that.
Submitted by edward300225 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction Expansion
Expand on your introduction by stating more clearly both sides of the argument. This will set a clearer context for your discussion.
Example Variety
While your examples are relevant, try incorporating a wider variety of examples to strengthen your argument.
Tone
Be mindful of maintaining a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid using colloquial expressions or slang.
Conclusion Strength
In your conclusion, restate your thesis more forcefully to leave a strong impression on the reader.
Linking Words
To improve cohesion, you might want to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
Topical Coverage
Your essay addressed the topic comprehensively, covering both the advantages and disadvantages.
Specific Examples
Good job providing specific examples to support your points, like the use of data science in anti-money laundering efforts.
Conclusion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the overall argument of your essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: