IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think there should be strict discipline in schools for students to get good marks,while others believe teachers should be friendly.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed by some individuals that schools must follow rigid guidelines in order to help learners achieve better grades,
whereas
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 opine that educators at schools should be rather amiable to encourage pupils to study with their interests.
This
Linking Words
 essay will provide
explanation
Add an article
an explanation
show examples
 to both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides before drawing a reasoned conclusion. To commence with,strictness in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational institutions will result in creating
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
routinely
Change the word
routine
show examples
 studying
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
 for students.
For example
Linking Words
, many institutions
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Australia,Japan,India, and many other nations
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 daily homework to their disciples which needs to be submitted by the next day.
Additionally
Linking Words
,scholars will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
complete their work
Change preposition
of
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
Correct article usage
the professor's
show examples
professor's
Correct article usage
the professor's
show examples
 fear as they are
of
Correct word choice
aware of
show examples
 the consequences that they might have to face in terms of not completing their work on time.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if instructors are easily approachable it will help apprentices to easily discuss their doubts with them.
Thus
Linking Words
, they might not face the issue of not asking more than once in case of not getting enough information regarding
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 particular topic.
For instance
Linking Words
,a student will only ask his doubts to the tutor for the second time
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
if he believes that she will solve them.
Likewise
Linking Words
, lecturers will get more to know about the areas which
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 students are lacking.
By
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
 they can work on that.On top of that, students can share their personal feelings like depression and anxiety with their mentors
of
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
 they can coordinate with them without any interpersonal barriers.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my opinion, I firmly believe that teaching should be done in
such
Linking Words
 a way that learners feel free to contact the higher authorities
while
Linking Words
 following the rules and regulations of the academy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence Cohesion
To improve coherence, try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases. This will make your essay flow more smoothly from one idea to the next.
Task Achievement
Consider utilizing more specific and detailed examples to support your main points. While you provide good general examples, more specific details could greatly enhance your argument.
Task Achievement
For an even stronger response, make your personal opinion clearer in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion to ensure that your position on the issue is clearly understood.
Task Achievement
Your essay introduces both views clearly and leads to a reasoned conclusion, which is excellent for task achievement.
Coherence Cohesion
Good organization of paragraphs, each discussing a different view, which aids in the logical structure of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: