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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think there should be strict discipline in schools for students to get good marks,while others believe teachers should be friendly.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #discipline #schools #students #marks #teachers
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It is believed by some individuals that schools must follow rigid guidelines in order to help learners achieve better grades,
whereas
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other
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others
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 opine that educators at schools should be rather amiable to encourage pupils to study with their interests.
This
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 essay will provide
explanation
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an explanation
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 to both
the
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apply
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sides before drawing a reasoned conclusion. To commence with,strictness in
the
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apply
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educational institutions will result in creating
a
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apply
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routinely
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routine
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 studying
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
 for students.
For example
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, many institutions
of
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in
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 Australia,Japan,India, and many other nations
gives
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give
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 daily homework to their disciples which needs to be submitted by the next day.
Additionally
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,scholars will
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apply
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do
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apply
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complete their work
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of
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from
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of
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Correct article usage
the professor's
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professor's
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the professor's
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 fear as they are
of
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aware of
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 the consequences that they might have to face in terms of not completing their work on time.
On the other hand
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, if instructors are easily approachable it will help apprentices to easily discuss their doubts with them.
Thus
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, they might not face the issue of not asking more than once in case of not getting enough information regarding
the
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a
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 particular topic.
For instance
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,a student will only ask his doubts to the tutor for the second time
only
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if he believes that she will solve them.
Likewise
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, lecturers will get more to know about the areas which
his
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their
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 students are lacking.
By
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In
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this
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way
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way,
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 they can work on that.On top of that, students can share their personal feelings like depression and anxiety with their mentors
of
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if
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 they can coordinate with them without any interpersonal barriers.
To conclude
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, in my opinion, I firmly believe that teaching should be done in
such
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 a way that learners feel free to contact the higher authorities
while
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 following the rules and regulations of the academy.
Submitted by loginfree246 on

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Coherence Cohesion
To improve coherence, try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases. This will make your essay flow more smoothly from one idea to the next.
Task Achievement
Consider utilizing more specific and detailed examples to support your main points. While you provide good general examples, more specific details could greatly enhance your argument.
Task Achievement
For an even stronger response, make your personal opinion clearer in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion to ensure that your position on the issue is clearly understood.
Task Achievement
Your essay introduces both views clearly and leads to a reasoned conclusion, which is excellent for task achievement.
Coherence Cohesion
Good organization of paragraphs, each discussing a different view, which aids in the logical structure of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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