IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows local catches and imports of fresh fish into Perth, Australia for the years 2004 - 2014.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given table indicates regional
imports
Use synonyms
 and catches of fresh fish in
Australian
Correct article usage
the Australian
show examples
 city
Perth
Change preposition
of Perth
show examples
 during the 10-year time period from 2004 to 2014. When looking at the chart at first glance it is obvious that during the decade figures experienced fluctuations. It is salient to note that the highest total was in 2009 with 8949 metric
tons
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 in 2004 Perth experienced the lowest total of 3142.2 metric
tons
Use synonyms
. Over the period, from 2004 to 2008 the figure for local catches experienced an upward trend, having its peak in 2008 and
then
Linking Words
 the figure gradually decreased. In the meantime, the figure for
imports
Use synonyms
 was disproportionately low compared to locals.
However
Linking Words
 metric
tons
Use synonyms
 for
imports
Use synonyms
 had more
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
show examples
 fluctuations over the years
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
peaking in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2012 with 1227.3 metric
tons
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that the figures for local,
imports
Use synonyms
 and total
differs
Change the verb form
differ
show examples
 significantly.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 local
cathces
Correct your spelling
catches
surprasses
Correct your spelling
surpasses
imports
Use synonyms
 substantially every year.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words imports, tons with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: