The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishment for driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Accidents on the road
has
claimed a large number of lives nowadays. Change the verb form
have
Introduction
of severe Correct article usage
The introduction
sentence
to all Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
the
drivers will help safeguard Correct article usage
apply
the
road users. I completely agree to a greater extent. The essay below will elaborate Correct article usage
apply
further
on the above notion.
On one hand,Linking Words
Correct article usage
the
introductory
of a jail sentence compared to a fine will greatly improve the safety on the streets, one will have to think twice before breaking any rules on the roads. Replace the word
introduction
For example
, Linking Words
indivuduals
where Correct your spelling
individuals
i
come from Change the capitalization
I
ussually
carry some cash so as to pay Correct your spelling
usually
Correct article usage
a fine
fine
, Fix the agreement mistake
fines
this
means that they are intentionally breaking the rules Linking Words
instead
of Linking Words
adhearing
to them. Correct your spelling
adhering
Additionally
, the rise in fines to Linking Words
an
unimaginable money will Remove the article
apply
also
help in Linking Words
this
area, Linking Words
for instance
, if the fine was $30 it should be increased to about $400 which will make those depending on Linking Words
fine
Correct article usage
the fine
to
follow regulations. Fix the infinitive
apply
Finally
, unlicenced Linking Words
driver
should get a long Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
jail-term
, Correct your spelling
jail term
this
is witnessed around the globe Linking Words
that
the young stars especially from rich families learn to drive from a very tender age because of Correct word choice
apply
abundance
of cars at their Add an article
the abundance
an abundance
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
therefor
causing many accidents.
Correct your spelling
therefore
On the other hand
, there is Linking Words
need
to look into the traffic department Correct article usage
a need
that is
Linking Words
their
Change the word
the
pollice
who are stationed in the avenues. I lived in South Correct your spelling
police
Africaand
Correct your spelling
Africa and
i
witnessed Change the capitalization
I
as
offenders or Change preposition
apply
law breakers
would just bribe an officer without even thinking twice, Correct your spelling
lawbreakers
hence
there is Linking Words
need
to fire those workers who accept money as they increase these cases. Correct article usage
a need
Furthermore
, Linking Words
installation
of cameras will help tackle some safety concerns Correct article usage
the installation
internatonally
as Correct your spelling
internationally
this
will make anyone behind the wheel and pedestrians to be cautious and know they are being recorded.
In conclusion, Linking Words
i
agree to a greater extent that a harsher punishment will increase the safe use of roads. A sentence Change the capitalization
I
instead
of a fine, increased fines and Linking Words
Correct article usage
a longtime
longtime
behind bars for driving without a licence will greatly help. Correct your spelling
long time
However
, we should look into the traffic cops and improvements on the roads will Linking Words
also
provide security.Linking Words
Submitted by teterayithelma on
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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas further with more detailed and specific examples. This will help clarify your argument and make it more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to improve readability and make your argument more dynamic. This will also help in making your essay more engaging.
general
Consider revising your essay for grammatical accuracy and proper use of vocabularies, as improving these aspects can significantly enhance the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
You provided a clear opinion in response to the essay question, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in the reader’s understanding.