IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Computers are used more and more in education. Is it an advantage or disadvantage. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's technological era, computers are being used for education.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the advantages
along with
Linking Words
 the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 notion in the forthcoming paragraphs.As far as I am concerned I am in favour of the latter point. To commence with, in today's fast-paced era, data processors play a vital role in the literacy system for saving time.To explicate it,everything is available online like books, reading materials and many more. It not only provides the materials but saves hours and labour as well.
For example
Linking Words
,in the traditional method, during exams , first teachers have to sort out sheets
then
Linking Words
 they have to check sheets individually which consumes so much time for results.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, with digital machines, instructors just need to scan the sheets and can check and get the results instantly.
Hence
Linking Words
, electronic devices save a lot of time and energy. Shifting towards the final view, it cannot teach discipline and can exploit pupils as well.To elaborate on it,machines can teach calculations but not discipline.Only tutors can be taught the regulations and life lessons.In devices, one can only feed data but children cannot share their problems with them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 fake websites which are not good for young minds and even though pressing one wrong button can lead to those websites.
Also
Linking Words
, computing devices could affect eyesight.Spending a lot of hours on screen can make their eyesight weaker.It can be addicting too.
For instance
Linking Words
,
According to
Linking Words
 a 2022 Indian survey which was conducted by the Education Department it is found that 48% of school-going learners have weak eyesight and it all started during 'The COVID-19 stage when they started studying online.The ratio was increased from 22% to 45%.
As a result
Linking Words
, electronic machines are not advantageous at certain times.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 information processing machine saves hours and energy and provide outcomes fast yet ,I largely believe that professors are an important aspect of the field of teaching.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction and conclusion
A more structured introduction and conclusion improves clarity. Your introduction could more clearly state the essay's main arguments and your conclusion should succinctly summarize them, reinforcing your stance.
sentence structures and linking words
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a range of linking words to improve flow and coherence.
examples
When providing examples, make sure they are as specific as possible and clearly linked to the point being made. This strengthens your argument.
discussion balance
Balance the discussion by spending roughly equal amounts of text on each viewpoint before stating your opinion. This ensures a well-rounded discussion.
task achievement
You've done well to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of computer use in education, which meets the task requirement.
examples
Your specific examples, like the use of online materials and the survey data, are relevant and strengthen your argument.
vocabulary
You show a good range of vocabulary related to the topic of education and technology.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: