IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#function #music #people #stress
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While
music
 offers a myriad of benefits both physically and mentally, I strongly agree that its most crucial function is
stress
 reduction.
This
 essay will explore the reasons why
music
 is particularly effective in alleviating
stress
.
Firstly
,
music
 has a profound impact on our emotional well-being. It has been scientifically proven that listening to
music
 can stimulate the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and happiness.
This
 biochemical response can significantly reduce
stress
 levels and improve mood.
For instance
, soothing classical
music
 can create a calm and serene environment, helping individuals to unwind after a stressful day.
Moreover
,
music
 is highly accessible and can be easily integrated into daily life. Unlike other
stress
-relief methods that might require specific conditions or tools,
music
 can be enjoyed anytime and anywhere.
This
 accessibility makes it a convenient and practical option for
stress
 management.
For example
, many people listen to
music
 during their commute to work or
while
 exercising, using it as a means to relax and divert their minds from daily stressors.
Furthermore
,
music
 can provide a sense of connection and emotional support. Engaging with
music
, whether through listening, playing an instrument, or singing, can create a sense of belonging and shared experience. Group activities like choir singing or participating in
music
 festivals can foster social connections, which are essential for emotional health and
stress
 relief. In conclusion,
while
music
 offers various benefits, its primary function as a
stress
-reducing tool is paramount. Its ability to elicit positive emotional responses, its accessibility, and its role in fostering social connections make it an indispensable resource for managing
stress
 in our daily lives.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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coherence
To further improve, consider adding more varied sentence structures and using transitions to more seamlessly connect ideas.
task achievement
You could delve a bit deeper into how music compares with other stress-relief methods to strengthen your argument.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, effectively framing and summarizing the arguments.
supported main points
Each main point is well-supported with relevant examples and explanations.
logical structure
The essay is cohesive and logically structured, making it easy to follow.
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