Many species of animals all around the world are on the verge of extinction. Some say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today's fast-paced world, endangering most kinds of
animals
has become a vital concern. Some people
believe that protecting animals
with the help of countries
and individuals would be the best option, whereas
others argue that dealing with the main issues of people
is more essential rather than animals
. Personally, I completely believe that we should preserve and take care of nature, otherwise
, the world might be a worse place to inhabit.
On the one hand, a growing number of people
think that they should have several major responsibilities in order to protect the species from danger because they play a significant role in the lives of people
. Moreover
, some types of animals
help people
to create and develop the study of medicines. For instance
, some burgeoning countries
are trying to find a way to alleviate the number of diseases and deaths. Therefore
, they need to look after endangered animals
and generate specific places such
as Zoos to live there. The government is not only supplying animals
with a place but also
with such
environment in which they used to reside here. As an example, polar bears are animals
which dwell in cold areas like Antarctica but today, there are some challenges because of changing climate conditions and melting ice caps and glaciers. All human beings should become in one community in order to find better opportunities for such
animals
.
On the other hand
, approximately 45% of people
feel that the problems of human beings should be taken into account by countries
and organizations. Nowadays, there are a multitude of people
who suffer from deathful illnesses and do not have any cash in order to meet their needs. For this
circumstance, improved countries
should provide poor countries
with an array of treatment and medicines. In addition
, the government and wealthy individuals should invest money in study and food. In such
a situation, the government should increase awareness of providing financial aid. As you know, there are several large charity organizations which are introduced the society to help those who are really in need.
In conclusion, opinions may differ as some people
focus on the issues of the extinction of animals
by providing them with appropriate places and not hunting them, while
others feel that it is the better option that concentrate on the concerns of the public by creating charitable organizations.Submitted by writingbhos on
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Task Achievement
Ensure to balance the discussion between both viewpoints before presenting your own opinion to fully address the prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing more clearly would enhance the structure and flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
You provided a clear stance and justified your viewpoint effectively.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the role of animals in medicine, enhanced the persuasiveness of your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good job on presenting both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion in the conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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