In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, lots of ways appear to help
students
get their best results in academic education.
This
author argues that the drawbacks of lacking communicative skills and educating without professionalism outweigh the benefit of flexible time to
study
. The most disadvantageous factor of homeschooling is the lack of communication.
In other words
,
students
can not socialize with their peers and friends because they are always at home
for
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apply
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studying. For priority knowledge, most people are still lonely and do not have friends because they were not able to communicate with anyone when they were
children
.
Thus
, studying at home can limit chances for
children
to develop their friendships and other relationships. Studying without a professional teacher must
also
be considered. It must be recognized that there are no parents who mostly have professional knowledge of pedagogy and lessons in textbooks.
As a result
, they can sometimes teach wrongly and it prevents
children
from learning the right things. Thereby,
students
should be educated by mentors and teachers at school who have a qualification and experience in teaching.
However
, some families believe that homeschooling has flexible time to help
students
study
easily.
This
may be true that times cooling can be limited in relation but it is
also
strict to promote
children
studying well and work with regular hours, avoiding being lazy.
Consequently
, the time rules will train
children
to
study
hard and work punctually. Taking all points into account, the possible impact of various times to
study
is outweighed by the opportunity to make friends and
study
professionally.
Hence
, having an education at school should be more beneficial which helps
students
develop themselves comprehensively.
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task response
The introduction is clear, but could be improved by specifically mentioning the debate around homeschooling and traditional schooling. Make sure to clearly state that you will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages before concluding which is more significant.
task response
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, mention how homeschooling may benefit certain children with specific needs or refer to studies or statistics to back up your assertions about lack of socialization and professional teaching.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically organized, use more transitional phrases such as "Moreover," "Additionally," and "On the other hand" to improve the flow between paragraphs and within arguments.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing all the main points discussed and clearly restating your stance on the issue. This will help to provide a rounded closure to your argument.
task response
The essay successfully identifies key disadvantages of homeschooling such as lack of communication and professionalism in teaching.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure, with clear paragraphs dedicated to each point.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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