Some people say that governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #governments #focus #pollution #illness #disease

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Indeed, It is irrefutable that

due to

Linking Words

advancements in all spheres of life and overpopulation, the major issues faced by the folks are excessive pollution and housing

problems

Use synonyms

which

leads

Correct subject-verb agreement

lead

show examples

spread

Correct article usage

the spread

show examples

of various

diseases

Use synonyms

. So, many individuals argue that the authorities should focus on reducing these troubles. I

also

Linking Words

think that the government should focus on the measures to tackle

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these

problems

Use synonyms

. To Commence with, contamination of the ecological system is causing serious

health

Use synonyms

hazards to the human race. It contributes significantly to respiratory

diseases

Use synonyms

, heart conditions and cancer.

For example

Linking Words

; more than 50% population in the World is struggling with lung

diseases

Use synonyms

like Asthma.

Besides

Linking Words

that, pollution through

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fossil fuels,

increasing

Wrong verb form

increases

show examples

the amount of

Carbondioxide

Correct your spelling

carbon dioxide

in the air which leads to

depletion

Correct article usage

the depletion

show examples

of the Ozone layer.

Consequently

Linking Words

, the Sun rays can reach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the Earth and can cause Skin cancer.

For instance

Linking Words

; in

Australia

Add a comma

Australia,

show examples

approximately 40% of

populace

Correct article usage

the populace

show examples

Add a missing verb

is diagnosted

show examples

diagnosted

Correct your spelling

diagnosed

with skin

problems

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

, reducing the pollution would

therefore

Linking Words

directly lower the incidence of these illnesses.

Besides

Linking Words

that, decreasing the use of fossil fuels can

also

Linking Words

help

addressing

Wrong verb form

address

show examples

environmental issues to combat climate related

health

Use synonyms

problems

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the overcrowded

cities

Add a comma

cities,

show examples

people face more

infections

Replace the word

infectious

show examples

diseases

Use synonyms

because there are more than

desired

Change the article

the desired

show examples

number of people living in one room and home.

This

Linking Words

is happening because the number of constructed houses is less and these are not affordable, which

force

Correct subject-verb agreement

forces

show examples

people to live in small houses.

Besides

Linking Words

that, poor housing conditions are

also

Linking Words

associated with increased stress and

long- term

Correct your spelling

long-term

show examples

health

Use synonyms

problems

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, safe and affordable housing is crucial for mental and physical

health

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, the authorities should focus on environmental and housing issues,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can be more cost-effective in

long

Correct article usage

the long

show examples

term as compared to treating

diseases

Use synonyms

after they have developed.

Submitted by bawanpreet070 on Mon Apr 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar

Make sure to proofread your essay for minor typos or grammatical errors to further enhance the clarity of your writing.

Structure

Consider balancing your paragraphs in terms of content and length. This ensures each idea is thoroughly discussed and the essay feels evenly structured.

Style

To engage the reader even more, vary your sentence structures. This keeps the text dynamic and engaging.

Argumentation

When using examples, ensure to conclude with a brief reflection on why this supports your argument. This strengthens the connection between your example and the point you're making.

Task Response

Your essay presents a strong, clear stance on the topic, which is excellent for Task Achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

You've done a great job at organizing your ideas logically and ensuring your essay flows well from one point to the next.

Task Achievement

The use of relevant examples to support your main points enhances the persuasiveness of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

294 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

respiratory diseases
heart conditions
incidence
affordable housing
stress
infectious diseases
preventative measures
cost-effective
healthcare infrastructure
comprehensive approach
global warming
climate change
exacerbated

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
The illustrations below show how chocolate is produced
The infographic illustrates the procedure of chocolate.
6
band
Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people assert that the young generation is inappropriate for significant roles in government while others think that it will be a good situation for younger people to take on their positions. There is a persuasive agreement that more and more young people should participate in crucial positions within the government.
7
band
You should spend about 40 mins. Write about the following topic: Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?
The vast majority of people believe that cell phones should be prohibited in several locations like libraries, shopping centres and public transportation.I do completely agree with the statement as I think that these devices can be destructive for the users and can make others concerned about their misuse in specific locations.
<4
band
Private car ownership has been increasing over the past few decades. This has given ordinary people greater mobility, but has also led to concerns about traffic congestion and air pollution. Do the advantages of private car ownership outweigh the disadvantages?
It is true that personal vehicles have been rising over the past few decades. This has given common population larger mobility , but has also led to concerns related to increased emissions contributing to air pollution and traffic congestion. It is my belief that the positive effects of private car ownership certainly outweigh its disadvantages.
5.5
band
In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature) and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this trend need to be changed?
In today’s society, the majority think girls are more likely to choose arts subjects such as literature while boys tend to choose science subjects like physics in schools and universities. In this essay, I will identify the reasons for the case and whether I think this trend should be altered.

Some people say that governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The illustrations below show how chocolate is produced

Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should spend about 40 mins. Write about the following topic: Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

Private car ownership has been increasing over the past few decades. This has given ordinary people greater mobility, but has also led to concerns about traffic congestion and air pollution. Do the advantages of private car ownership outweigh the disadvantages?

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature) and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this trend need to be changed?