Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Working
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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varied
Wrong verb form
vary
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widely all over the world. Western
countries
such
as America and Britain have relatively shorter office
hours
compared to Asian
countries
. Some claim economic development is superior in those nations with longer working
hours
. I wholeheartedly agree with
this
nation, as I will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
following. Longer working
hours
often can bring higher productivity. Nowadays, economic competition has become more severe. The country which has faster and larger productivity stands up easily. Take Taiwan
for example
, people there tend to
work
more than 12
hours
a day,
along with
fewer national holidays in comparison with Western
countries
, and it is undeniable that Taiwan’s electric industry plays an indispensable role globally.
This
could be
due to
Taiwanese hard working characteristics.
Additionally
, economic stability and prosperity can
also
result from a long working time.
This
work
pattern brings opportunities for jobs, contributing to the reduction in
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
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rate.
However
, it still has certain drawbacks. Working for a long time may cause potential physical and mental
health
problems. Worker’s rest and sleep time can be deprived, leading to harmful
health
outcomes.
For instance
, Japan is well-known for long
work
hours
. Though it is one of
economic
Replace the word
the most economically
show examples
successful nations, its suicide rate which is related to
work
has climbed recently.
Consequently
,
health
issues should not be underestimated, especially in those nations that have
this
long working pattern.
To conclude
,
countries
with longer office
hours
enable them to have higher productivity and be more competitive, making them have better economic development.
However
, sometimes it is at the expense of the employer's
health
, and people should be more aware of
this
issue to ensure the country's economic sustainability.
Submitted by sandra19970823 on

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Task Achievement
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Introduction & Conclusion
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Use of Examples
The use of specific examples, such as Taiwan and Japan, to support your points is excellent and contributes significantly to task achievement.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic success
  • working hours
  • productivity
  • sustainable development
  • work-life balance
  • labor laws
  • efficiency
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • burnout
  • occupational health
  • technological innovation
  • industrialized nations
  • emerging economies
  • workforce
  • competitiveness
  • workplace culture
  • employee turnover
  • quality of life
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