Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Working
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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varied
Wrong verb form
vary
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widely all over the world. Western
countries
such
as America and Britain have relatively shorter office
hours
compared to Asian
countries
. Some claim economic development is superior in those nations with longer working
hours
. I wholeheartedly agree with
this
nation, as I will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
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following. Longer working
hours
often can bring higher productivity. Nowadays, economic competition has become more severe. The country which has faster and larger productivity stands up easily. Take Taiwan
for example
, people there tend to
work
more than 12
hours
a day,
along with
fewer national holidays in comparison with Western
countries
, and it is undeniable that Taiwan’s electric industry plays an indispensable role globally.
This
could be
due to
Taiwanese hard working characteristics.
Additionally
, economic stability and prosperity can
also
result from a long working time.
This
work
pattern brings opportunities for jobs, contributing to the reduction in
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
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rate.
However
, it still has certain drawbacks. Working for a long time may cause potential physical and mental
health
problems. Worker’s rest and sleep time can be deprived, leading to harmful
health
outcomes.
For instance
, Japan is well-known for long
work
hours
. Though it is one of
economic
Replace the word
the most economically
show examples
successful nations, its suicide rate which is related to
work
has climbed recently.
Consequently
,
health
issues should not be underestimated, especially in those nations that have
this
long working pattern.
To conclude
,
countries
with longer office
hours
enable them to have higher productivity and be more competitive, making them have better economic development.
However
, sometimes it is at the expense of the employer's
health
, and people should be more aware of
this
issue to ensure the country's economic sustainability.
Submitted by sandra19970823 on

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Task Achievement
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Introduction & Conclusion
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Use of Examples
The use of specific examples, such as Taiwan and Japan, to support your points is excellent and contributes significantly to task achievement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic success
  • working hours
  • productivity
  • sustainable development
  • work-life balance
  • labor laws
  • efficiency
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • burnout
  • occupational health
  • technological innovation
  • industrialized nations
  • emerging economies
  • workforce
  • competitiveness
  • workplace culture
  • employee turnover
  • quality of life
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