some pp believe that public buildings should be move out of the city to promote citizen's well-being and better growth, while some argue that the planning will cause more harm than good. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is a true fact that the population explosion of the
city
Use synonyms
is one of the most complicated issues for almost all nations.
Hence
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, some
people
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suppose that communal
buildings
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should be transferred to other places to elevate citizen's life.
By contrast
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, others think that drawbacks outweigh benefits, which is particularly similar to my opinion.
Firstly
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, the benefit of moving the public
buildings
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out of the
city
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is that it can solve the traffic jams.
This
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is because it will decrease the
movements
Fix the agreement mistake
movement
show examples
of citizens to public
buildings
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in urban areas. Plus, it
also
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solves the issue of accommodation for the residents. In fact, public
buildings
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which are conveyed out of the urban area can be replaced by houses, and apartments for
people
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to live
.
Change preposition
in.
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{good idea!!!}
On the other hand
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, it would have disadvantages if the
city
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doesn't have enough communal
buildings
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. Distance will be a big problem in
this
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case.
For example
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, some facilities are necessary for
people
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in some emergencies as hospitals, clinics, fire
station
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stations
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and so on. They will be late to arrive promptly in several serious occurrences, and
then
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these will cause unpredictable situations.
Furthermore
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, school is essential for students in the vicinity/ area to move conveniently, and in case
this
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is real, it will be a significant problem for students to learn.
Besides
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, office
buildings
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are needed for citizen's demands. Exhausted gas from transportation will increase
highly
Rephrase
greatly
show examples
because
people
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have to drive longer distances, and it will cause more severe environmental problems. In general, I object to the moving of public
buildings
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out of the
city
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because
this
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planning can cause more harm than profit and it will reduce the
city
Use synonyms
's prosperity.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
Be more consistent in using complete sentences. Notice that some sections feel abrupt due to incomplete sentences.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. Examples can help illustrate your points effectively.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both views and provided your own opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good, cohesive structure with a clear introduction and conclusion.
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