some pp believe that public buildings should be move out of the city to promote citizen's well-being and better growth, while some argue that the planning will cause more harm than good. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is a true fact that the population explosion of the
city
is one of the most complicated issues for almost all nations.
Hence
, some
people
suppose that communal
buildings
should be transferred to other places to elevate citizen's life.
By contrast
, others think that drawbacks outweigh benefits, which is particularly similar to my opinion.
Firstly
, the benefit of moving the public
buildings
out of the
city
is that it can solve the traffic jams.
This
is because it will decrease the
movements
Fix the agreement mistake
movement
show examples
of citizens to public
buildings
in urban areas. Plus, it
also
solves the issue of accommodation for the residents. In fact, public
buildings
which are conveyed out of the urban area can be replaced by houses, and apartments for
people
to live
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
{good idea!!!}
On the other hand
, it would have disadvantages if the
city
doesn't have enough communal
buildings
. Distance will be a big problem in
this
case.
For example
, some facilities are necessary for
people
in some emergencies as hospitals, clinics, fire
station
Fix the agreement mistake
stations
show examples
and so on. They will be late to arrive promptly in several serious occurrences, and
then
these will cause unpredictable situations.
Furthermore
, school is essential for students in the vicinity/ area to move conveniently, and in case
this
is real, it will be a significant problem for students to learn.
Besides
, office
buildings
are needed for citizen's demands. Exhausted gas from transportation will increase
highly
Rephrase
greatly
show examples
because
people
have to drive longer distances, and it will cause more severe environmental problems. In general, I object to the moving of public
buildings
out of the
city
because
this
planning can cause more harm than profit and it will reduce the
city
's prosperity.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
Be more consistent in using complete sentences. Notice that some sections feel abrupt due to incomplete sentences.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. Examples can help illustrate your points effectively.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both views and provided your own opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good, cohesive structure with a clear introduction and conclusion.

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