IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line chart illustrates the average climate and how many
hours
Use synonyms
 the sun shines
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
monthly
Correct article usage
a monthly
show examples
 basis every
year
Use synonyms
 in London, New
York
Use synonyms
, and
Sydney
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the hottest city
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
year
Use synonyms
 is
Sydney
Use synonyms
, and the coldest
one
Use synonyms
 is New
York
Use synonyms
.
Sydney
Use synonyms
 is the coldest city in mid-
year
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 New
York
Use synonyms
 is the hottest
one
Use synonyms
 at the same time. New
York
Use synonyms
 has the highest amount of sunshine a
year
Use synonyms
 among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
. Based on the information, the hottest time in New
York
Use synonyms
 is July,
while
Linking Words
 the coldest
one
Use synonyms
 is January.
Although
Linking Words
lied
Verb problem
it is
show examples
 on
separate
Correct article usage
a separate
show examples
 continent from New
York
Use synonyms
, the weather in London is not quite different, where its hottest period is July and August, and its coldest
one
Use synonyms
 is January.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the position of those three
cities
Use synonyms
 against the equator,
Sydney
Use synonyms
 has different
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 from the rest of the
cities
Use synonyms
. The temperature in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 reaches its peak in January, and it gradually declines until mid-
year
Use synonyms
. After that, it slightly inclines from month to month
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and gains its peak again
at the end
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are
differences
Replace the word
different
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
sunlights
Fix the agreement mistake
sunlight
show examples
 in those
cities
Use synonyms
. New
York
Use synonyms
 has sunlights more than the other
cities
Use synonyms
, with 2,535
hours
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
, followed by
Sydney
Use synonyms
 with 2,473
hours
Use synonyms
. London has the fewest sunshine throughout the
year
Use synonyms
, only 1,180
hours
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, year, york, sydney, one, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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