IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the sales of the three most commonly purchased items in a particular bakery for the year 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#information #sales #three #items #bakery #year #summarise #features #comparisons
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The given graph provides information about
sales
Use synonyms
 of
3
Correct article usage
the 3
show examples
most commonly purchased items in
specific
Add an article
the specific
a specific
show examples
bakery
Fix the agreement mistake
bakeries
show examples
 for the year 2014. The items are
bread
Use synonyms
,
buns
Use synonyms
 and
pies
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bread
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 the most purchased
item
Use synonyms
 in the first and
last
Linking Words
 of 2014,but between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
January and
December
Add a comma
December,
show examples
 the
Buns
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 soared and caught up
Use synonyms
bread
Change preposition
with bread
show examples
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in the
last
Linking Words
 4
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 declined and even caught up
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
Pies
Use synonyms
 which was the least purchased
item
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the start of
2014
Add a comma
2014,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Bread
Use synonyms
 was the most
saled
Correct your spelling
sold
item
Use synonyms
 with $80000, but after
Janguary
Correct your spelling
January
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bread
Use synonyms
's
rate
Use synonyms
 was declined and caught up by
Buns
Use synonyms
 in March. After
buns
Use synonyms
 took over the first place its
rate
Use synonyms
 increased until May and became stable for 4 months, but rapidly decreased and even caught by
pies
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 2 items
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 fighting,
th
Correct your spelling
the
bread
Use synonyms
's
sales
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 rapidly increased for the
last
Linking Words
 3 months and reached $80000 just like it was before in the first of the year.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
least purchased
item
Use synonyms
 was
pies
Use synonyms
 with $10000
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the year, but got into second place in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
December
due to
Linking Words
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
sales
Use synonyms
 of
buns
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, bread, buns, pies, item, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
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