Digital technology is becoming the main role in our lives. This provides both advantages and disadvantages. To what extent do you agree?

These days,
Computers
and other digital technologies come with both advantages and disadvantages. There is no doubt that digital technologies and
computers
produce a lot of good things.
Firstly
,
computers
have been providing useful functions in the form of applications
such
as Microsoft Office, Google Chrome, and Microsoft Teams which are being used for document
work
, exploring information, and connecting people around the world.
For example
,
according to
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Microsoft Corporation's analysis department showed that computer applications can improve the efficiency at
work
of 3 in 4 citizens around the world by 90
percent
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per cent
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compared to the paper base.
In addition
to that doctors can check and give basic treatment details to patients who live in remote areas.
Overall
, the efficacy of working people and distance medical treatment has been maximized by
computers
.
Moreover
,
computers
can deeply analyze more data and learn in a short time because it has an intelligent central processing unit that operates accurately and quickly.
For instance
, BBC News reports that
computers
have won a game of chess 100
percent
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per cent
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among humans in only one study game. The World Health Organization confirmed that digital technology is being used to diagnose diseases which can provide support for doctors to precisely evaluate.
Therefore
, with the reliability and agility of computer
work
, it will be proficient in modern life in terms of human well-being.
To sum up
, there are clear advantages of digital technology and
computers
regarding working perfectly, rapid calculation, improving
work
productivity, closely remote people, and bringing human life better.
Submitted by amittawin on

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task achievement
Consider expanding your discussion on the disadvantages of digital technology as the essay prompt asks for both advantages and disadvantages. Balancing your essay will strengthen your argument and provide a more complete response to the question.
coherence cohesion
Try using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to enhance the flow of your essay. While your essay is structured well, varying your linguistic tools will make your writing even more coherent.
general
Remember to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors. Although they are not heavily penalizing, refining your grammar can improve the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You provided clear and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main ideas, providing a strong framework for your essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, with well-developed paragraphs focusing on different aspects of the topic, aids in making your argument clear and convincing.

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