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Band 7.5

Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development ?

#countries #success #facilities #train #athletes #sports #development
In contemporary times, several nations prefer to build various specialised
sports
 infrastructures to train their elite athletes rather than provide public ones to their citizens, which helps them to gain global achievements.
This
 essay attempts to shed light on the merits and demerits of
this
 trend before concluding that I am in favour of the latter notion. On the one hand, it is understandable why country authorities subscribe to establishing special training centres for their professional athletes. First and foremost, it could enhance countries' images.
For example
, with carefully prepared practice, skilled sportsmen could take part in international competitions
as well as
 achieve high positions, which could allow the participants to introduce their countries and cultures to the public.
Furthermore
, investments in modern
sports
 facilities could help the country's economy.
This
 is because they are basic and compulsory requirements to organise famous international
sports
 events
such
 as the Olympics and World Cup, which could attract millions of visitors to travel to that country,
thus
, earning huge profits from accommodation, transportation, and event tickets.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons why I am convinced that the government's focus on developing special
sports
 buildings might bring some profound drawbacks to each household and the entire society. One rationale is that it could decrease the quality of inhabitants' lives.
For instance
, an increase in the budget for expensive projects means a lower allocation for public
sports
 sites, which might lead individuals to lose their workout habits and face serious health problems. Another justification is that the enormous costs incurred to build gigantic facilities could put a strain on government coffers, thereby leading to budget deficits, tax hikes, or reduced social welfare.
As a result
, ordinary citizens, especially the underprivileged, might struggle even more to make ends meet. In conclusion,
while
 it is irrefutable that the establishment of professional
sports
 infrastructure might have advantages to certain extents, I would contend that the downsides of
this
 phenomenon are more significant.
Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on

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Task Achievement
Be sure to evenly balance the discussion of both views before stating your personal opinion. This will enhance clarity and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and enhance the flow of your argument.
Task Achievement
Including more specific examples to support your points can make your argument more convincing and engaging for the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction, well-structured arguments, and a concise conclusion that nicely wraps up your discussion.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed the essay prompt, discussing both sides of the issue before coming to a reasoned conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international success
  • specialized facilities
  • top athletes
  • sports facilities
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • excellence in sports
  • lack of access
  • general public
  • international sports events
  • unequal distribution
  • resources
  • inspire
  • motivate
  • aspiring athletes
  • neglecting
  • areas of development
  • contribute to
  • economy
  • excessive focus
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