Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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this

era, a smartphone is one of the easiest

tools

for

children

to get information. There are many reasons why

children

spend most of their

time

every day on their

smartphones

and how the situation affects their development. In

this

essay, I will explain how and why with the instances. Some

children

pay more attention to their

smartphones

every day because they are very curious about

this

world and

smartphones

could answer their questions. They can watch videos on YouTube, read books online, play games, and learn languages too.

Smartphones

are the easiest access and the cheapest

tools

which provide any information. For

parents

smartphones

are alternative

tools

to make

children

stay calm, so

parents

can finish their work.

For example

, if

children

cry so much

while

parents

have to cook,

parents

can give their

smartphones

children

. So

children

will stop crying and

parents

can focus on finishing their job. In my opinion,

children

need to develop their cognitive and social skills. If they spend more

time

only on

smartphones

, they will lose their

time

for socialization and developing their cognitive skills.

For instance

, at a younger age, they have to use eyeglasses and their motoric development can be affected because of the radiation from

smartphones

. The

time

should give

children

new experiences if they use it for socialization and exploring the world. In conclusion,

smartphones

are superb

tools

for

children

to get information about

this

world.

However

, spending hours every day will

give

Verb problem

have

show examples

them bad impact on cognitive and social skills.

Parents

can allow

children

to access

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

smartphones

but should control the

time

and content.

Submitted by jehanboo on Sun Dec 31 2023

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task achievement

Ensure to develop main points with specific examples. The essay provided a general overview but lacked specific and convincing examples to reinforce the arguments.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow by ensuring each paragraph clearly follows from the one before with appropriate use of linking words. While the essay had a basic structure, it needs to employ more cohesive devices effectively.

task achievement

Present both sides of the argument evenly. There is a tendency to focus more on the negative aspects; balance is key to a well-rounded essay.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetitive phrases and look to enhance lexical resource through varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that men and women have different qualities , therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extant do you agree or disagree

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?

The government should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the envirnonment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.