IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The multiple bar chart compares the traffic among three museums in London from 2007 to 2012. The museums are the National Gallery, the
Victoria
Use synonyms
 and
Albert
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
, and the
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the popularity of the National Gallery rocketed up through the years, from being the lowest to the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
However
Linking Words
, the
Victoria
Use synonyms
 and
Albert
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 and the
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 faced a fluctuating trend, the
number
Use synonyms
 of visits went down
then
Linking Words
 bounced back in the middle of the period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the National Gallery was the lowest with just over 5
million
Use synonyms
 people visited in 2007.
Besides
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 was growing and reaching more than 15
million
Use synonyms
 in 2012. The traffic was approximately three times higher in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
Victoria
Use synonyms
 and
Albert
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 and the
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 experienced a fall down through the first four and three years, respectively. The
Victoria
Use synonyms
 and
Albert
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 was placed in the first rank in terms of
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors in 2007, with around 14
million
Use synonyms
. Unfortunately, it decreased significantly to about 6
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010, but it managed to rise until hit 10
million
Use synonyms
 people in 2012.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 started with approximately 11
million
Use synonyms
 visitors to only around 7
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009 and went up to nearly 15
million
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words victoria, albert, museum, british, number, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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