Some people say that the studying at school is not important because the most important things are leant outside the school. Do you agree or disagree
Children these days are interested in many other extracurricular activities and many
schools
offer those courses. Some people still believe that there are many other important things
which should be learned outside school
and studies
are not very important. I completely disagree with this
statement and this
essay will provide relevant examples and a conclusion to support my view.
Firstly
, school
time is a crucial phase for the students
where they are nurtured and taught the basics. The education that schools
provide is very important for them to grow in their life. The schools
are not limited to studies
, they are also
providing sports, language, soft skills and many other classes to help their students
grow in their lives. For example
, there are many students
who are regular to school
and studies
which helps them to pass the school
with a bright future. On the other side, there are many other students
who are irregular or spend more time outside school
and end up failing in their classes.
Furthermore
, there are many other things
which are taught outside of the school
but that is
not their age
to learn those kinds of things
. Children going to school
are around the age
of 7 to 18 years and that is
a very sensitive age
where they should focus on their studies
rather than spending time outside of their schools
. For example
, students
who learn outside the school
may know real-world situations but they may lack the basic education, skills and manners.
In conclusion, I totally disagree with the idea that students
should stop studying and learn from outside as their age
is quite young to understand these kinds of things
. Additionally
, the quality education that they gain from schools
is totally useful for them in their future life.Submitted by tirththakkar23 on
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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your essay demonstrates this well, which helps the reader follow your argument.
cohesion
To enhance coherence, try to connect your ideas more explicitly using a range of linking words and phrases.
task response
To further improve task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the task prompt directly. You've done well in expressing your disagreement and providing supporting reasons.
examples
Use specific examples to clarify and support your points. You’ve used examples effectively to illustrate your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
structure
You have successfully structured your essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which greatly aids in the reader’s comprehension.
support
You've effectively provided relevant examples and reasons to support your view, which strengthens your argument.
