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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmentalproblems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals #environmentalproblems
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Some argue that the loss of special kinds of
animals
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 and plants is the dominant environmental problem nowadays,
however
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, others think some problems are more important than
this
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. In my opinion, environmental problems like the increase in average temperature may be the main problem. Numerous people believe the disappearance of lives will pose a threat to the
food
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 chain, which may lead to damage to lives. Actually, the
food
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 chain plays a vital in nature because it allows every type of animal to obtain enough
food
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. If more and more species are vanishing, many
animals
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 may fail to find enough
food
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 to survive.
For instance
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, if many kinds of plants die out, it will be difficult for rabbits to survive, and
then
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 the eagles will
also
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 lose their
food
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.
As a result
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, many
animals
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 will disappear and human beings can not live on earth alone.
This
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 is the reason why some pay closer attention to the loss of species.
On the other hand
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, there is another point that the loss of soil may be the most important issue. As we all know, we lose amount of soil every year. It is evident that we may not have enough soil to cultivate within several years. When that day comes, people will suffer from the shortage of
food
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 and considerable citizens may even die. So someone believes that we should give priority to prevent that case from coming. My view is that the increased temperature is the most serious situation.
This
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 thing may lead to a large number of disasters. The ice in the northern and southern poles will become water and the level of the sea will be higher, which may cause damage to many regions that are near the sea.
For instance
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, these areas will be covered by seawater and nobody can live in those places. Many citizens will lose their homes and have no place to live and their properties will be lost, too.
To sum up
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,
although
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 the decrease in biodiversity may be responsible for the deaths of
animals
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, the growth of temperature has a worse impact. So I think that can be the main environmental problem.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider connecting your ideas and paragraphs more clearly using a range of linking words to improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples by providing more detailed explanations and evidence to strengthen your arguments and make your main points more convincing.
General
Work on developing a more consistent and structured approach in your essay to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supporting it with clear examples and explanations.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides a well-balanced discussion of the different viewpoints regarding environmental problems, showcasing your ability to engage with complex issues.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay and providing a coherent summary of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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