Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In many countries, some people think that allowing
children
to make their own choices
results in a selfish personality, while
others think that making decisions
themselves is necessary. Although
making up their minds based on their choices
may bring about a self-thinking personality, I strongly believe that making decisions
by themselves allows children
to drive their own lives, leading to an improved quality of life
.
Regarding this
point, making decisions
by themselves provides opportunities for individuals
to facilitate adaptability and problem-solving skills. The business world is ever-changing, requiring individuals
to live with responsibility
. For instance
, if individuals
find themselves in trouble as a
result
of making their own decisions
, they would reflect on their own choices
. This
experience develops the chance to make changes and assess their life
direction. As a
result
, choosing for themselves enables individuals
to live a better quality of life
.
On the other hand
, making their own choices
is likely to result
in being selfish. Adults need to teach what matters happen when children
make wrong decisions
. Children
haven’t experienced enough of life
, and they don’t have the criteria for understanding others. This
is the reason that children
are protected by laws until the age of 20. In this
regard, leaving the responsibility
to children
is likely to result
in a lack of understanding.
In my opinion, learning by themselves rather than mere teaching by adults should be a higher priority. To experiment directly can lead to finding genuine fulfillment
, thereby significantly raising the value of Change the spelling
fulfilment
responsibility
.
In conclusion, while
teaching in advance allows many children
not to make wrong decisions
, I believe that learning by themselves is more significant, as learning responsibility
should be prioritized.Submitted by imagelim329 on
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Development of Ideas
Expand more on your examples to clearly illustrate your points. Including detailed scenarios or a wider range of examples could strengthen your argument.
Nuance and Accuracy
Be careful with generalizations. It's important to acknowledge the complexity of some issues rather than suggesting that all children act a certain way or that all experiences are the same.
Usage of Linking Words
Using a more varied range of linking words and phrases could enhance the flow and coherence of your essay.
Essay Structure
Good structure; your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
Argumentation
Effective use of argumentation. You present both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion, which strengthens the overall discussion.
Thesis Statement
You have formulated a clear and concise thesis statement, which sets a solid foundation for the rest of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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