Many governments think that economics progress is there most important goal some people fieber think that other type of progress are equally important for a country discuss both views and give your opinion
States have different views and ideas regarding development in the
country
, some think that the only measurement is economical but like others, I believe there are many aspects that need to be taken into consideration when we are talking about progression in society.
On the one hand, it is an undeniable fact that the development of every country
is shown in its wealth and people
's purchasing ability and needless to say, should be at the centre of attention for every state. Case in point, if people
are not able to buy their own requirements that country
will not be considered affluent. Additionally
, economic growth provides strength for the governments in terms of military, navy and aviation industries therefore
, that country
can be self-protected in a way like many developed countries such
as the USA. Overall
, the economy is one of the main important factors in assessing progress.
On the other hand
, for the assessment of the states other elements such
as people
's welfare, culture and educational level are significantly effective. Suppose that a country
is powerful in providing ammunition and military equipment but people
are deprived of education what will be the effect of it in the long run ? Or a country
which is economically progressed but still suffering from a lack of standard culture among people
, how can we consider it accomplished? Therefore
, given these circumstances combination of factors must be observed to evaluate it.
In conclusion, although
the economy is highly vital for each country
and its development, I strongly believe, a variety of factors such
as culture, education and welfare must be taken into consideration as the economy in order to come to a conclusion.Submitted by keyhan454 on
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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, ensure you directly address all parts of the question. You discussed both views and provided your opinion, which is good; however, incorporating more specific, detailed examples to support each viewpoint could strengthen your argument and clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a higher Coherence and Cohesion score, work on linking your ideas more smoothly and explicitly. While your essay has a clear structure, using a wider range of linking words and phrases can enhance the flow of your arguments. Additionally, consider paragraphing more strategically to neatly group related ideas and improve readability.
General
Proofreading for grammatical errors and typos can also enhance the overall quality of your essay. Attention to detail in language use can significantly impact your score.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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