Many things which were done in the home by hand in the past are now done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?
Chores which used to be done manually are now completed by dishwashers, food processors and electric sewing machines.
While
Linking Words
this
trend benefits individuals and society in the short term, it has negative long-term repercussions for the planet as a whole.
On the one hand, the process of mechanization in the home undoubtedly saves time and human energy. Overworked and exhausted adults no longer have to worry about tedious tasks, Linking Words
such
as doing the laundry or doing the dishes. Linking Words
This
means they can enjoy themselves and spend quality time with loved ones.Women Linking Words
in particular
reap the rewards as, in former times, they tended to be responsible for most of the laborious housework.They now have the opportunity either to work and become economically independent or to socialize, Linking Words
instead
of scrubbing floors or chopping vegetables.
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On the other hand
, the popularity of these products has unwanted environmental consequences. Machines including vacuum cleaners and washing machines are made using nonrenewable and relatively scarce resources. When used, they are powered by large quantities of electricity, which is often obtained by burning fossil fuels. Linking Words
This
obviously causes an increase in carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gasses in the atmosphere.Linking Words
Furthermore
, as these items are deliberately designed only to Linking Words
last
for a limited period, they soon have to be replaced and Linking Words
are
thrown into landfill sites, which puts additional pressure on the ecosystem.
In conclusion, Unnecessary verb
apply
although
we should not ignore the positive social and economic impact of the increasing use of modern appliances in the home, Linking Words
this
trend is contributing to the depletion of natural resources and pollution.Linking Words
Submitted by nttung.182 on
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General Advice
Continue to develop your argumentation skills by incorporating a wider range of examples and possibly considering a more diverse set of perspectives.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, strive for smoother transitions between paragraphs by utilizing a broader variety of linking phrases.
Task Response
For an even stronger task achievement, consider directly addressing potential counterarguments to your points. This will make your essay more comprehensive and persuasive.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a well-balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, including a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, significantly aids reader understanding.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples to support your main points strengthens your argument and makes your essay more compelling.
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