Many people use distance-learning programmes (study material post, TV, Internet, etc.) to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending colledge or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Tons of
people
Use synonyms
are using distance-learning programs
while
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studying at home.
While
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some of them tend to believe that it does not have the same advantages as attending college or university in person, Personally, I strongly agree and prefer to use learning methods, especially when I am at a distance, as they are more flexible and convenient than vice versa.   In
this
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modern world,
people
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tend to use a simple
way
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to create something or everything easier, particularly when the technology grows faster like
this
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.
People
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will be trying to utilize the advantages that are received by the growing technology in order to broaden their links and networks worldwide. I am gaining time to do anything else
while
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doing my hobby.
For example
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, I pick to hang out sometimes and
do studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
when I am in the cafe,
hence
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,
this
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will make me more convenient.  
Secondly
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, I will be thrilled if I am able to work and study from a long distance using facilities
such
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as e-learning, television, or the internet to understand the material given by the professor, as
this
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will help me to work from anywhere
while
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studying and working at the same time.
For instance
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,
currently
Add a comma
currently,
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I am working in Jakarta, and if there is an opportunity to get a degree again but it is
way
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too far,
then
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I will be in the online learning system, as
this
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will help me so much because
this
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opportunity would not come twice for me. So, leveraging any merits in the modern era would make everything easier for me.  
However
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, learning offline would be beneficial as
people
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would see each other and give more appreciation to each other, but I do not agree because sometimes
people
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do not interact that much with others.
Also
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, there is another
way
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to appreciate someone,
such
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as by mailing them to show appreciation.   In conclusion, I believe that living in the modern world would benefit us in many ways, particularly by giving us the opportunity to enjoy the online learning material system where we can enjoy doing our hobbies or allocate time to do anything like work to be more productive in any
way
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Example Usage
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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of sentence structures and connective words to improve your coherence and cohesion. This will make your essay flow better and appear more sophisticated.
Task Response
Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt. While you've made a strong case for the benefits of distance learning, also discussing some challenges in depth could enhance your position even further.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, effectively framing your essay.
Personal Touch
You've effectively used personal experiences to support your argument, which makes your essay relatable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distance learning
  • study material
  • flexibility
  • convenience
  • access
  • resources
  • learn at one's own pace
  • cost effectiveness
  • face-to-face interaction
  • socialization
  • practical learning
  • traditional education
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