Many people use distance-learning programmes (study material post, TV, Internet, etc.) to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending colledge or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Tons of
people
are using distance-learning programs
while
studying at home.
While
some of them tend to believe that it does not have the same advantages as attending college or university in person, Personally, I strongly agree and prefer to use learning methods, especially when I am at a distance, as they are more flexible and convenient than vice versa.   In
this
modern world,
people
tend to use a simple
way
to create something or everything easier, particularly when the technology grows faster like
this
.
People
will be trying to utilize the advantages that are received by the growing technology in order to broaden their links and networks worldwide. I am gaining time to do anything else
while
doing my hobby.
For example
, I pick to hang out sometimes and
do studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
when I am in the cafe,
hence
,
this
will make me more convenient.  
Secondly
, I will be thrilled if I am able to work and study from a long distance using facilities
such
as e-learning, television, or the internet to understand the material given by the professor, as
this
will help me to work from anywhere
while
studying and working at the same time.
For instance
,
currently
Add a comma
currently,
show examples
I am working in Jakarta, and if there is an opportunity to get a degree again but it is
way
too far,
then
I will be in the online learning system, as
this
will help me so much because
this
opportunity would not come twice for me. So, leveraging any merits in the modern era would make everything easier for me.  
However
, learning offline would be beneficial as
people
would see each other and give more appreciation to each other, but I do not agree because sometimes
people
do not interact that much with others.
Also
, there is another
way
to appreciate someone,
such
as by mailing them to show appreciation.   In conclusion, I believe that living in the modern world would benefit us in many ways, particularly by giving us the opportunity to enjoy the online learning material system where we can enjoy doing our hobbies or allocate time to do anything like work to be more productive in any
way
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Example Usage
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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of sentence structures and connective words to improve your coherence and cohesion. This will make your essay flow better and appear more sophisticated.
Task Response
Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt. While you've made a strong case for the benefits of distance learning, also discussing some challenges in depth could enhance your position even further.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, effectively framing your essay.
Personal Touch
You've effectively used personal experiences to support your argument, which makes your essay relatable.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distance learning
  • study material
  • flexibility
  • convenience
  • access
  • resources
  • learn at one's own pace
  • cost effectiveness
  • face-to-face interaction
  • socialization
  • practical learning
  • traditional education
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