Some people think mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. To what extend do agree or disagree with this statement?

There has been quite an obvious discussion around the topic of cell
phones
.
While
some
people
believe that mobile
phones
should be banned in public
places
such
as libraries, shops and public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
, I would argue that mobile
phones
are necessary for
people
’s lives. I will explain my reasons in
this
essay. There is no doubt that a mobile phone is a tool for helping
people
’s daily lives.
This
is because telephones can be helpful to
people
in any situation
such
as searching for a navigator when they get lost, use for calls in emergencies and for entertainment.
For example
, when
people
travel to new
places
or other countries, they can use online maps on the phone to find out the way to get to the nearest grocery, a restaurant or a hotel.
As a result
, smartphones can benefit
people
by quick data when they need any information immediately. It is worth pointing out that a smartphone is a good assistant in emergency situations.
This
is based on the fact that
people
can use
this
gadget right away when an accident happens in public
places
such
as buses, trains and motorways.
For instance
, the news in Japan reported that 80% of emergency calls in accidents on public transportation result in
people
using smartphones to report can be quick and can be fast to solve problems.
Consequently
, a mobile phone is a faster way to report any emergency situation. In conclusion, we can observe that mobile
phones
can not banned in public
places
because
this
gadget
provide
Verb problem
is
show examples
beneficial for human lives.
Overall
, I firmly believe that mobile
phones
can be used in public.
Submitted by v.mahatkomol on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that your points are directly linked to how they oppose the ban on mobile phones in public places, to make your argument stronger.
Coherence & Cohesion
For an even higher score, try to expand your examples with more specific details and a wider range of sentence structures.
Task Achievement
You might consider adding a counter-argument paragraph to address the viewpoint of those who support the ban, followed by a refutation to strengthen your position.
Coherence & Cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main points well, contributing to a logical and cohesive essay structure.
Task Achievement
Your examples are relevant and support your argument effectively, showing a good understanding of the task requirements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Etiquette
  • Tranquility
  • Prohibit
  • Intrusive
  • Courtesy
  • Essential communication
  • Public decorum
  • Designated areas
  • Safety concerns
  • Noise pollution
  • Digital etiquette
  • Enforcement measures
  • Civic responsibility
  • Silent mode
  • Connectivity
  • Invasiveness
  • Social norms
  • Policy implementation
  • Moderation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: