Some people think that governments should give financial support to artists, musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is thought by some
people
that governments
should spend some expenditure wages from the state budget to help actors, singers and poets, whereas
; opponents think it is a futile spending of money. Both perspectives regarding this
notion are discussed with few
pertinent examples Correct article usage
a few
further
in this
essay.
In order to those people
who think that governments
should raise helping hands to provide financial support to the entertainer personalities of our nation. To be more precise, artists, instrumental players and philosophers are the prominent entertainers in our lives. They are significant resources to rejuvenate our minds and body after tiring work schedules. For Example
, artists plays
Change the verb form
play
vital
role in Add an article
a vital
media
industry Add an article
the media
to showcase
dramas and movies as a fascinating way of entertainment for Change preposition
by showcasing
people
. Similarly
, musicians sing songs, help us to unwind stress and refresh us in our daily lives. So that
, to escalate and maintain these evoking activities government should facilitate them both financially and morally. Correct determiner usage
apply
Morover
, poetry is pivotal for the identification and civilization of a country, it is necessary for the Correct your spelling
Moreover
governments
to conduct event which emphasises on mother language in
a nation.
Change preposition
of
On the other hand
, those few who do not agree with this
notion are not on
right. It would not be a waste of money if Rephrase
apply
particular
budget is impromptu. It will be wrong if exceed amount Correct article usage
a particular
is spend
only on these entertainments by forgetting other Change the verb form
is spent
mendatory
aspects of a country Correct your spelling
mandatory
such
as health, education and employment etc. For example
, people
who germane to under privileged
families for Correct your spelling
underprivileged
them
Correct your spelling
the
governments
spending on other activities prior to their basic needs to mitigate their poverty is wasted.
Fix the agreement mistake
government
To conclude
, it is imparitive
for Correct your spelling
important
the
Correct article usage
apply
governments
to support artists, musicians and poets finicially
to gain multifarious benefits Correct your spelling
financially
to
these entertainments, to maintain cultural assets, diminish nation Change preposition
from
people
's stress and widespread mother tongue though
Correct your spelling
through
the
poetry plays around the world. In my Correct article usage
apply
assertion
it should be Add a comma
assertion,
government's
obligation to maintain and facilitate them financially and morally.Correct article usage
the government's
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Tone
Be mindful of maintaining a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid colloquial phrases like 'help us to unwind stress' to keep the formal integrity of your writing.
Grammar
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and plural forms to avoid small errors, such as 'government should facilitates' instead of 'government should facilitate'.
Structure
To enhance the clarity of your argument, consider using more paragraph breaks to separate and highlight your main ideas.
Content
You provided a balanced discussion by presenting both viewpoints before stating your own opinion.
Examples
You effectively used examples to support your points, making your argument stronger and more relatable.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes your main points and clearly states your opinion, which is a good practice for IELTS essays.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?