IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Write 150 words.

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Write 150 words.
#bar #five #industries’ #percentage #brazil’s #economy #forecast
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart provides key information about five industries, which support the economic status in Brazil across three different years. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the finance sector is the most significant one, as it provides the highest ratio of
shares
Use synonyms
 to the economy throughout the given time.
In addition
Linking Words
, finance accounted for the biggest proportion of
shares
Use synonyms
 ,in 2019,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest percentage of
shares
Use synonyms
 was
due to
Linking Words
 manufacturing in the same year.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, finance started, at roughly 32%, in 2009 and increased gradually to just over 35%, in 2019. After that, it is expected to rise to about 42%, in 2029. Food processing contributed by around 20% of
shares
Use synonyms
, in 2020, which was about twice its ratio, in 2009.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is predicted to decline to approximately 10%, in 2029. In terms of oil, coal and gas, they represented about a third percentage of
shares
Use synonyms
 around 33%, in 2019, which was higher than its
shares
Use synonyms
, in 2009 by nearly 7%.
Also
Linking Words
, it is expected to drop again to 25%, in 2029.
Submitted by sm710129 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words shares with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage share
  • economic growth
  • industry forecast
  • notable growth
  • decline
  • steady growth
  • trend
  • significant increase
  • economic landscape
  • industry sector
  • projected growth
  • consumer preferences
  • technological advancements
  • industrial transformation
  • mature industry
  • economic policies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: