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Band 5.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
It is widely contended that more and more people having sickness spontaneously use
medicines
 and
treatments method
Fix the agreement mistake
treatment methods
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 without doing health
check
Fix the agreement mistake
checks
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 in the hospital.
While
this
 has admittedly certain benefits, I would argue that
this
 is a fairly negative trend because its demerits are far more pronounced. On the one hand, it is understandable why people with health issues are trying alternative
medicines
 without advice from
doctor
Add an article
a doctor
the doctor
show examples
. Perhaps the foremost benefit of
this
 choice is that it may quickly help the patients to deal with some normal diseases.
For example
, there are a couple of slight symptoms,
such
 as
:
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apply
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 nose congestion, cough or fever under 38 degrees Celsius, which could be treated by some kind of
medicines
 bought in pharmacy stores. In fact, many individuals have been successful with
this
 treatment method, so they keep doing it
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the next time when they get
sickness
Replace the word
sick
show examples
.
On the other hand
, I am convinced that the aforementioned advantages pale in significance when compared to the drawbacks of using
medicines
 without
agreement
Add an article
the agreement
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 of
doctor
Correct article usage
a doctor
show examples
. The prominent disadvantage is that if people predict
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 disease based on their symptoms,
this
 will be extremely harmful to their health condition.
For instance
, the first expression of
Covid-19
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
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 pandemic is running nose or headache being quite similar to that of
flu
Correct article usage
the flu
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.
Therefore
, in
this
 case, the patient eating
medicines
 at home without
medical
Correct article usage
a medical
show examples
 check-up could make their illness more serious. In conclusion, trying
medicines
 without
direction
Add an article
the direction
show examples
 of
doctor
Add an article
a doctor
the doctor
show examples
 when having
sickness
Correct article usage
a sickness
show examples
 is quite negative
,
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apply
show examples
 because its benefits are significantly overshadowed by the drawbacks.
Submitted by annguyenbe11 on

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development
Keep working on developing your main points with more varied examples and deeper analysis.
lexical resource
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely.
grammar
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
introduction
Your introduction nicely sets the stage for the discussion.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance.
argument balance
You have a good balance of argumentation, presenting both sides before stating your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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