Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Several individuals believe that the
government
should allocate more funds to take care of older individuals however
others oppose that the government
should invest more money
in the education
of youth. In this
essay, I would like to discuss both sides before giving my opinion.
On the one hand, it is clear that
the elders should be significantly supported by the government
because they have many health issues and it is difficult for them to find jobs. Moreover
, those spent their youth serving
their own countries. Add a hyphen
youth-serving
Therefore
, the government
should pay more money
to take care of senior people
. Not only does this
action motivate young people
to dedicate to
their countries, but it Correct pronoun usage
themselves to
also
helps to attract a quality workforce
worldwide . To illustrate, many talented junior crowds in Vietnam have immigrated to America, Canada and other countries where they have good policies for elderly residents.
On the other hand
, some communities argue that the government
should invest more finance in the education
of the young generation. Because
Correct word choice
Education
education
plays a very important role in creating an excellent workforce
that brings high productivity, contributing to the development of the economy and many other aspects of a nation. For instance
, America is the wealthiest country because it can attract the most talented young people
on over the world. Because of the above reasons, I believe that the government
should invest money
in supporting of older generation and educating of younger generation in a balanced way.
In conclusion, in this
essay, I would like people
to understand that if the government
allocate more money
to support the elderly, it will help to attract more quality workforce
and encourage them to have more commitment whereas
if the government
spend more finance on education
of young people
, it will create a good workforce
and high effectiveness.Submitted by writingeilts on
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Language Clarity and Variety
Consider enhancing the clarity of your sentences and avoiding repetition. Variety in sentence structure and vocabulary can make your argument more engaging and clearer.
Examples
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Transitions
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Task Response
Your essay successfully addresses both views and provides a balanced opinion, which is critical for a strong Task Response score.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, giving your essay a strong structure from start to finish.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence, with a coherent structure and logical progression of ideas.