Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Several individuals believe that the

government

Use synonyms

should allocate more funds to take care of older individuals

however

Linking Words

others oppose that the

government

Use synonyms

should invest more

money

Use synonyms

in the

education

Use synonyms

of youth. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I would like to discuss both sides before giving my opinion. On the one hand,

it is clear that

Linking Words

the elders should be significantly supported by the

government

Use synonyms

because they have many health issues and it is difficult for them to find jobs.

Moreover

Linking Words

, those spent their

youth serving

Add a hyphen

youth-serving

show examples

their own countries.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

should pay more

money

Use synonyms

to take care of senior

people

Use synonyms

. Not only does

this

Linking Words

action motivate young

people

Use synonyms

to dedicate

Correct pronoun usage

themselves to

show examples

their countries, but it

also

Linking Words

helps to attract a quality

workforce

Use synonyms

worldwide . To illustrate, many talented junior crowds in Vietnam have immigrated to America, Canada and other countries where they have good policies for elderly residents.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some communities argue that the

government

Use synonyms

should invest more finance in the

education

Use synonyms

of the young generation.

Because

Correct word choice

Education

show examples

education

Use synonyms

plays a very important role in creating an excellent

workforce

Use synonyms

that brings high productivity, contributing to the development of the economy and many other aspects of a nation.

For instance

Linking Words

, America is the wealthiest country because it can attract the most talented young

people

Use synonyms

on over the world. Because of the above reasons, I believe that the

government

Use synonyms

should invest

money

Use synonyms

in supporting of older generation and educating of younger generation in a balanced way. In conclusion, in

this

Linking Words

essay, I would like

people

Use synonyms

to understand that if the

government

Use synonyms

allocate more

money

Use synonyms

to support the elderly, it will help to attract more quality

workforce

Use synonyms

and encourage them to have more commitment

whereas

Linking Words

if the

government

Use synonyms

spend more finance on

education

Use synonyms

of young

people

Use synonyms

, it will create a good

workforce

Use synonyms

and high effectiveness.

writingeiltsThu Apr 04 2024

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Language Clarity and Variety

Consider enhancing the clarity of your sentences and avoiding repetition. Variety in sentence structure and vocabulary can make your argument more engaging and clearer.

Examples

While your essay provides a thoughtful discussion, try to integrate more precise examples to support your points. Specific, illustrative examples will strengthen your argument and make your case more compelling.

Transitions

Work on the transition between paragraphs for smoother flow. Use transitional phrases and sentences to link your ideas more effectively, creating a cohesive narrative throughout your essay.

Task Response

Your essay successfully addresses both views and provides a balanced opinion, which is critical for a strong Task Response score.

Introduction and Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, giving your essay a strong structure from start to finish.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence, with a coherent structure and logical progression of ideas.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this? Angsa

More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at tl1e place. Why do you think this is happening? Is it a positive or a negative trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is argued that governments should prioritize addressing environmental pollution and housing issues as a means to prevent health-related problems

Some people think that the use of mobile (cell) phones should be banned in public places such as libraries and shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?